


Richard and his Angel

by nic_d



Category: British Actor RPF, Richard Armitage - Fandom
Genre: Accidents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Marriage, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-07-28 14:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 30,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20065633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic_d/pseuds/nic_d
Summary: A chance encounter with a nurse at an awards night leads to love and marriage for Richard but can the marriage really work and will it all end happily ever after?





	1. A meeting by chance

Richard stared at his reflection in the mirror. He turned his head to the left and then to the right. He shook his head gently letting his hair move. He didn’t understand what people saw in him. He couldn’t understand what the thousands on women who sent him letters, cards and all sorts of gifts including several that made his cheeks blush saw that he couldn’t see. He was a simple man from Leicester, brought up in a safe, comfortable home with his brother. He hadn’t lived a life of luxury as a child but he had been allowed to do as he pleased including pursuing a career in acting despite his mother much preferring that he studied medicine or law. But his parents had let him be who he wanted to be. It hadn’t been easy, he’d wondered if he was doing the right thing several times but now he knew the bad days back when he was a teenager had been worth it. The picture on the wall to his left of the mountains in New Zealand reminded him that he had been part of The Hobbit film trilogy. Tonight he was attending another awards event having been nominated for his role in The Crucible.  
“Another night under the spotlight” he muttered as he adjusted the navy blue tie around his neck. He has stuck to his customary dark coloured clothing so he didn’t stand out in the crowd. Being 6 foot 2 inches tall made it difficult not to stand out in the crowd but at least he wasn’t in a white suit or a brightly coloured shirt that would be obvious.  
He tried to take in all of the Christmas lights that had recently been turned on but even the Christmas decorations couldn’t pull his head away from wondering during the taxi ride to the O2 arena what it was that made women look at him. He’d had relationships and had once considered proposing marriage having been in a relationship for several years, but when he had really thought about getting married he had realised his career had driven them apart as a couple and he would only cause her pain by marrying her. They had separated and he’d flitted between women who he had worked with on various projects. An actress, a make-up artist and a production manager but he’d never found the spark he was looking for in any of them.  
The taxi pulled up to a stop and Richard mustered a smile ready for the flashbulbs of the waiting cameras. He’d be able to relax a little once he was in his seat although he knew he might encounter an ex flame. Hopefully the cameras inside wouldn’t pick him out. He had requested a seat towards the rear of the stalls. That meant that the public in the circle wouldn’t be able to see him clearly, he wouldn’t be on show all night. He’d taken half a dozen steps along the red carpet when his name was called by a group of women, he looked towards them and saw they all had his face plastered across their chests. He kept the smile on his face as he made his way over to sign autographs. He greeted them and signed their books and even signed one of the t-shirt’s with his face on it before moving on. He stopped seven times on the red carpet to sign autographs and murmur thanks to the women that praised his acting skills. The smile remained fixed but he was looking forward to getting inside and having a glass of something to help him relax.  
He entered the building and was grateful to see that there were no cameras in sight. He picked up a glass of champagne from a passing waitress, she stopped two steps past him to turn and acknowledge who had taken a glass. A shy smile crossed her lips as she realised Guy of Gisborne had taken the glass. Being polite Richard smiled back but she wasn’t his type so no matter how much she flirted with him he wouldn’t be seeking her out. He decided not to give her the chance to flirt, he had been polite but now he turned and headed towards a face that was familiar. Martin Freeman had become a close friend when they had filmed The Hobbit. The pair chatted for several minutes before being encouraged to make their way to their seats. Richard and Martin agreed to catch up in a couple of weekends in case they didn’t cross paths again that evening.  
Richard was making his way to the auditorium when he spotted a woman standing off to his right. She wasn’t there as a guest though as she was clearly wearing a uniform, but she wasn’t part of the catering team as she had a fleece on. As he got closer to the entrance he saw that she had a large green first aider’s bag at her feet. Part of the medical team then, ready to deal with the public who over indulged in the alcohol that was fairly free flowing. She looked a little bit apprehensive; she wasn’t really watching anyone enter the room. She wasn’t knock out beautiful, brown hair tied up in a clip, probably 5 foot 4 inches tall, the fleece she wore not providing any evidence of curves underneath. Not like all of the actresses entering the building in figure hugging dresses, some touching the floor others barely covering their bottoms. Most of the people entering the main seating area didn’t give the woman a second glance, however a couple of young lads pushing through the crowd made a comment about her checking their pulses. She accepted their banter with grace and dignity but declined to feel for their pulses suggesting they make their way in. The skinny one of the pair started to move away but his mate didn’t move. “I asked you to check my pulse, I bet you’re being paid a fair crack for this gig, so check my pulse.” He thrust his neck towards her. Richard saw her swallow before saying “Sir, you need to take your seat before the ceremony starts. I can tell you are breathing and conscious so I don’t need to check your pulse.” His mate laughed and made a comment about his luck being out. Instead of moving on, the comment only infuriated the lad further so he pushed himself closer to the woman, looking down his nose at her. “Check my pulse” he spat at her.  
Richard had seen enough he moved towards the group. He observed the woman was trying not to shake whether from fear or anger he couldn’t tell but she was still holding it together. She wasn’t aware he had joined the group, neither was the man, well boy, who was still glaring at the woman, his top lip half curled in disgust. “Perhaps I can help you” he stated in the ear of the man, “after all I did play a trauma consultant.” The young man turned ready to tell the intruder to shove off until he realised he would be out powered by the man who had interrupted him. “I was only having a laugh” the lad claimed, “I wouldn’t really want to be touched by her, she’s far too old for me and I doubt she has the experience I want.” Richard usually didn’t retaliate but he’d had enough of the bully boy tactics “I’m sure the lady doesn’t want to be touched by you and she wants more than a quickie with a boy who is only concerned about his own needs rather than those of his partner.” The boy blustered whilst turning a shade of crimson, Richard had hit the mark with his comments. The young men were about to move off when security approached the group. A burly guard looked both squarely in the eye. “I warned you both, any more trouble and you’d be out. Looks like you didn’t listen, doors are that way” he pointed to his left. The pair walked away, the security guard close behind them.

Zoe didn’t dare lift her eyes from the spot on the floor, she didn’t want to look at the man who had come to her rescue. So far she had spotted his shiny black shoes, so shiny she could see her reflection in them and also admired the way his trousers fitted his calves. His voice had been smooth and soothing helping to relieve some of the fear she had felt at the presence of the young men. She had needed to return to work having been attacked in the car park of the A&E department she worked in 5 weeks ago and her 2 shifts so far this week in A&E had been fine but this was different, she didn’t have her colleagues watching her like a hawk. The matron hadn’t been keen on her being part of tonight’s team but staff sickness meant that they had needed to accept Zoe’s offer of additional hours. Richard was willing her to look up. “Sorry I stepped in, I just couldn’t tolerate watching him make a fool of himself.” He wanted to make her feel she wasn’t at fault but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t what he’d normally do. He didn’t abide bullies but he’d normally use words to belittle them and then move away himself. But there was something about this woman that made him want to stay near her.  
“Thanks anyway” she whispered lifting her head slightly her eyes now trained towards the man’s belly button. She’d have to look up to see his face, her mind was now telling her that she recognised the voice. “You need to find your seat Sir” she almost pleaded for him to leave. “Yes I will. Hope you have a good evening” he responded. “You too Sir.” Hearing her call him Sir had a strange effect on Richard’s body. He took a couple of calming breaths as he made his way to his seat wondering if he could find an excuse to seek the woman out again before he left tonight.


	2. Recognition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe realises who it was that came to her rescue and is surprised to find him waiting for her at the end of the evening

Zoe stood watching the stage from her allocated spot ninety minutes later. The voice she had recognised but not been able to place she now knew to be Richard Armitage. He was there on the stage collecting an award and was thanking the cast and crew of The Crucible, dedicating his victory to them. Once his name had been called Zoe recalled that he had played Guy of Gisborne in the TV series of Robin Hood. She’d seen an episode that her nephews had been watching when visiting her brother and like many women had been drawn to the man in black leather over the hero of the show. She had then watched every episode of the show loving the bad guy and wishing he’d forget about Marion and focus on her. She felt a bit silly that she hadn’t realised who he was when he’d come to her aid but was grateful she hadn’t looked up at him, she’d have probably become a gibbering wreck if she had known who was standing beside her.  
Richard hadn’t expected to win, he’d prepared a speech thankfully but he’d been shocked to hear his name called as best actor in a stage production beating his close friend Martin Freeman in the process. He’d have to have his photo taken at the end of the awards, meaning he was less likely to be able to find the woman with the first aid kit. He had sat in his seat listening to the awards but his mind had often wandered to her. He had even pondered what curves he would uncover under her uniform. He knew he was being ridiculous, unlikely to ever see her again but something about her piqued his curiosity 

Twenty minutes later the awards were over and the photo’s had been taken and Richard was considering heading home. Martin and his wife intercepted him and persuaded him he needed to stay for a drink. Richard was finishing his second Jack Daniels and cola when there was a commotion over on the far side of the bar area. Shouting for medics soon followed, Richard knew he should leave but when he saw the woman from the beginning of the evening as part of the responding team he remained watching. He couldn’t see who they were treating but knew it was serious when one of the team started CPR. Guests were being ushered out of the bar area allowing the medical team to work with their patient without an audience. Richard left the area as requested but instead of continuing on his journey as many others did he stayed wanting to check she was OK. He took a seat near the entrance to the building hoping that she too would have to leave that way eventually.  
Zoe’s shoulder’s ached from the cycles of chest compressions she had delivered, they had been close to calling it a day when they had managed to get the gentleman’s heart beating again. She’d been told to go home by the team lead for the event and hadn’t needed telling twice, keen to get under a hot shower before collapsing into bed. Perhaps she’d put on her Robin Hood DVD so that Richard’s voice could soothe her to sleep. Zoe came to an abrupt halt when Richard rose from a seat by the doors and stood before her. She couldn’t look down now, her green eyes locked onto his bright blue eyes and she felt electricity zing through her entire body. She opened her mouth to speak but Richard beat her to it. “I just wanted to make sure you were OK” he stated. “I don’t need any details of what happened I just want to know you are OK”. He waited patiently for her response. “I’m fine thanks for asking” Zoe responded. “Good” Richard whispered. “I would ask if you wanted a drink, but I’m guessing you just want to head home now”. Zoe smiled, she was shattered, emotionally drained as she always was following a cardiac arrest situation but nurses knew how to manage those feelings whilst still going out for a drink, the team often had a drink at the pub after a tough shift. She’d declined the team’s suggestion of drinks last night saying she’d wanted an early night given she would be out late tonight but something made her want to say yes to going out now. “You don’t even know my name” she smiled “but actually yes I would like a drink”. Richard was both amazed and shocked that he had asked her out for a drink and she’d accepted but was even more shocked that he hadn’t asked her name. “Please excuse me and let me introduce myself, I’m Richard, nice to meet you”. “I do know who you are” Zoe laughed, “I’m Zoe and I’m pleased to meet you Richard”. 

Zoe woke the next morning having slept solidly for seven hours. It was the first night since her attack that she hadn’t woken overnight either shouting, shaking or sobbing. She’d had a lovely time at a fairly quiet pub in Greenwich with Richard before heading home just after midnight in a taxi Richard paid for. She’d had two glasses of wine and had said she was OK to get onto the tube but Richard had insisted she took a taxi and that he paid for it. He had taken her telephone numbers and asked if Zoe would meet up with him again. Zoe had said yes immediately and still didn’t regret that response this morning. However she didn’t know when she would get a call or see Richard again. He was about to go off after the Christmas break to film Alice Through The Looking Glass and he had some other projects in the pipeline which were going to take him abroad. Zoe didn’t mind, she had thought her last boyfriend Zac was the one. They’d moved in together and had even talked about getting married after 3 years of dating. Then Zoe had gotten the shock of her life, she had realised she had missed the birthday of Lisa the flatmate she had been living with before moving in with Zac so on her way home from work she had made a detour to stop with a bottle of wine and some Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Zac was at football training so he wasn’t waiting for her at home. Before making her way up the path she’d turned to look through the dining room window and then she’d seen them. Lisa and Zac, both in just their underwear kissing, hands roaming all over each other. Zoe had wanted to go in and smash the wine bottle over Zac’s head, instead she’d left the doughnuts on the doorstep, except for the two she took. She scribbled a note on the box saying ‘I hope you choke on these’. She’d finished most of the bottle of wine by the time Zac found her at their flat, his belongings packed into suitcases and bags. He’d tried to apologise, said it was a moment of weakness but Zoe hadn’t believed him and eventually he’d admitted he’d been sleeping with Lisa for 18 months. Their relationship ended on the spot, the flat back on the market forty eight hours later. Zoe had decided to rent again and was happy with her little place in Vauxhall. It was an easy commute to work at Guys and St Thomas’s Hospital.

Richard woke early so decided to head out for a run, he couldn’t get Zoe out of his head. She had been easy to talk to, she’d asked a few questions about his work and he had asked about hers but otherwise they just found things to talk about. He wanted to see her again but he was about to spend a few weeks with his parents and family before going back to Germany to film scenes for a new television series called Berlin Station. He’d filmed most of his scenes but there were still a few left. He was also in talks to star in the film Oceans 8 which would be filmed in New York in the next couple of months. He didn’t want to lose focus by worrying about Zoe whilst he was working away although he was aware that whatever he did he’d struggle to remove Zoe from his thoughts 24 hours a day. After 30 minutes running through the streets he was back at his front door still thinking about Zoe. After a shower he picked up his mobile and sent his mother a message to say he would be coming to stay in the next couple of days.


	3. First Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard cannot get Zoe out of his head and asks to see her again. He has plans to visit his family but arranges another date before heading home. Is this woman getting under his skin?

It was January 31st and Zoe had just finished a long tiring shift, she was looking forward to getting home, showering, putting on her pyjamas and watching one of her DVD’s of Richard which had become a habit since she’d shared that evening with him. As she headed to the station to catch her train her phone pinged indicating she had a message. She waited until she was on the train before pulling her phone from her bag. The message wasn’t from a contact she had in her phone so she decided to leave it and put the phone bag into her bag. As she did, it pinged again. She pulled the phone back out, it was the same number. She thought it could be a colleague at work who wanted some info and had changed their phone number so she pressed the button to read the messages.  
“Hi Zoe, hope you are well. I’m back in London for a week so wondered if you would be free to have dinner one night? Richard”. She opened the second message. “Sorry, I appreciate this is short notice and you will be working. I won’t be back in London again for a few months but would love to catch up. R”.

Zoe almost dropped her phone in her haste to respond. “Hi, I’m working nights Mon, Tues and Wed but I’m free on Thursday, Friday and Saturday evening. Nothing planned so I’m happy to fit around your commitments. Zoe x” She debated whether to include the kiss or not before pressing send with the kiss in place. She generally ended her messages with a kiss.  
Richard was signing photos to be sent out to all those who had requested them when sending him fan mail. He was lucky that his family managed a lot of his fan mail, his mother clearly listed everything that had been sent to him. He’d drop some of these photos into his agency on Monday and also speak to his agent to see if there was anything else in the pipeline he could fit around his current commitments. He was signed up to season 2 of Berlin Station even though season 1 hadn’t yet aired. He’d be filming that later in the year. He was still having conversations about Oceans 8 but again that looked like it was due for filming later in the year. He wasn’t actually leaving the country again for several months but he’d planned to head home to see his family for a while having missed several important occasions recently. He had the premiere of Alice Through The Looking Glass to attend. His phone buzzed next to his coffee cup, startling him from his work. Richard threw down the pen knowing that Zoe had answered. A smile lit up his face as he read her response.

Zoe didn’t usually sleep after finishing her run of night shifts, she’d just find things to do before settling into bed at 7pm and sleeping through to the next morning. She found this helped her get back into a routine quickly. However she had needed to sleep today as she was having dinner with Richard tonight. She had slept til 1:30pm and had then eaten some eggs on toast. She had also showered, moisturised and tried to curl her hair into soft waves. She now stood in front of her wardrobe wondering what to wear. She opted for a white dress covered in large pink flowers that fell to mid calf. She matched a pink cardigan and black kitten heel shoes. She’d be wearing a coat for her journey. She’d told Richard when he’d called her to make the plans that she could get the tube to meet him, but once again Richard had insisted that a taxi picked her up. Zoe had an hour to dress and sort out her make-up. She was just applying her lipstick when she heard a car pull up outside. She picked up her bag and headed out and stopped half way down the steps when she saw that Richard was holding open the car door. Richard laughed at her surprised expression and encouraged her to take a seat. 

The conversation flowed easily during the evening and Zoe couldn’t help but smile at all the women who were looking at her sitting with the handsome man they had probably seen on the television. By dessert Richard knew all about Zoe’s career so far and Zoe had heard about the roles Richard had played. She had confessed that she had first seen him in Robin Hood but had watched a lot of his work on DVD. When pushed by Richard about her favourite character she had said she had loved Guy, been enthralled by John Thornton but was probably most attracted to Lucas North. She also confided that she hadn’t been a big fan of John Porter and had only watched one episode of Hannibal in which he played Francis Dolarhyde.  
Zoe offered to share the bill when it came but Richard insisted on paying saying he probably earnt more from one job than Zoe did in six months. Zoe tried to hide her feelings of inadequacy but Richard caught the look on her face before she could hide it. He took her left hand in his right across the table and apologised for flashing his cash and offered a compromise of her paying next time. Zoe smiled and enquired “next time?”

Next time occurred forty eight hours later. Richard had thought that he would have dinner with Zoe and would be able to walk away again as he had said he would spend some time in Leicester with his family so was heading home for a couple of months. He had a few scripts to read through and also wanted to explore some other potential projects. He’d furthermore arranged to record a couple of audiobooks whilst he was in Leicester. That wasn’t the case however, after their evening together he just wanted to spend more time in her company. It was a strange feeling, something he had never experienced before. He had called her on Friday afternoon and asked to see her again and he had then done something he hadn’t done in a very long time. Zoe agreed to seeing Richard again but was surprised when he suggested that she came to his house for dinner. Zoe had responded quickly saying he had said she was paying next time so Zoe had suggested she bring the food to cook at his house but asked if he could supply a bottle of white wine. As soon as he had disconnected the call after giving her his address Zoe had picked up her bag and headed to the high street to get what she needed for the meal. 

The smell coming from his kitchen was amazing. Zoe had been in there about an hour and had said she’d be ready to serve in the next half hour so Richard took her in a glass of wine. He took a seat to watch her work and before he knew what he was saying was telling Zoe that other than family and his cleaner, no woman had set foot in this house for over 5 years. Zoe blushed at the implication of his words and carried on cooking, everything was done except for the steaks she would cook to order after their starter of goats cheese which she was setting onto plates.  
Richard didn’t want to spook Zoe so kept conversation neutral as they ate. He told Zoe how he had enjoyed seeing A&E in action when he followed the helicopter medics around for a couple of weeks before filming The Golden Hour in which he played the lead Consultant. He hadn’t realised how brutal some of the procedures were until he’d seen then but was humbled that someone could save someone else’s life literally with their hands. Zoe played down her role in A&E, “I became a nurse to help people, to make a difference” she confided “I can’t deny that sometimes it is tough and I want to walk away and never go back, but…..” she stopped. Richard waited a few minutes before saying “but…..”. “But it’s all I know and if I can make a difference to just one person then all the tougher times are worthwhile” she whispered.  
She had cooked his steak to perfection and served it with creamy dauphinoise potato, garlic mushrooms and green beans. Richard didn’t often eat desserts but he had taken a second slice of the lemon tart Zoe had made he had enjoyed it so much. He was now in the kitchen making coffee when Zoe came in with the dessert plates and empty wine glasses. She loaded them into the dishwasher and then started to tidy the kitchen. “What are you doing, leave that, I’ll clean it up later” Richard declared watching Zoe run hot water from the tap into the dish she had cooked the potato dauphinoise in. “Honestly, it’s OK, I don’t have a dishwasher so I’m used to cleaning up my mess” Zoe stated. Richard wanted to stop her but he continued to make the coffee. With two cups ready he turned to watch her upto her elbows in soapy water washing up pots and pans. Leaving the cups on the side Richard moving in behind her, it was no good he couldn’t deny his feelings for her even though they still barely knew each other. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo, it was fruity, definitely a hint of grapefruit and then placed his lips on her neck kissing gently. Zoe’s hands stopped in the water and she tilted her head to the right giving him better access to her neck, she sighed softly. Richard moved his lips slowly up her neck to below her left ear and whispered “kiss me”.  
Zoe turned instantly placing her wet hands around his neck as their lips meet. Within seconds she had opened to his probing tongue and was giving as much to the kiss as he was. Richard broke the kiss but then reached up to take Zoe by the hand and lead her to his lounge. Taking a seat on the sofa he pulled her into his lap and returned to kissing her. Their tongues duelled and Zoe continued to sigh and moan softly at the invasion of her mouth. Her sighs increased as Richard’s hand caressed the back of her head, her whole body tingled. 

They remained sitting on the sofa kissing for what felt like a lifetime before finally pulling apart, Zoe’s lips swollen and bright red. She tried to wriggle off of Richard’s lap but he held her tightly against him so she could feel his heart pounding in his chest. “I should apologise but I’m not going to” Richard said. “I’ve been wanting to do that since you arrived”. “It’s OK” Zoe smiled, “I’m not complaining”. Richard laughed “neither am I”.


	4. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard surprises Zoe by returning to London unannounced but can she shake off the memories of her attack as their relationship develops

It had been hard for Zoe to leave after experiencing Richard’s kisses but it was even harder knowing she wouldn’t see him for a while. He had now been in Leicester for just over nine weeks, he called regularly and said he missed her. He talked about the work he was doing and always asked how her work was. Zoe was working her fourth and final night in a row tonight so they hadn’t spoken for several days now. Zoe hoped Richard would call her tomorrow, even hearing his voice lifted her spirits and she needed it this week having dealt with a RTA involving a family who were hit by a drunk driver. The dad had been driving and died instantly, Zoe and a team worked for three hours to save the five month old baby but their efforts failed. The mum was in intensive care with multiple injuries and the four year old was in intensive care in the adjoining children’s hospital with swelling to the brain. Zoe now had 10 days off as she was using up the leave she was owed, she wondered about travelling up to Leicester to see Richard but decided to wait until they spoke to see what he had planned for the next week. Luckily for a Friday night A&E was relatively quiet bar the usual drunks and at 8am with a coffee in her hand Zoe walked out of the hospital. She felt tired but must have been more tired than she imagined as she was certain that Richard was sitting on the bench outside the hospital. She took a sip of coffee to get a caffeine hit but the image didn’t leave her sight and then he was standing and smiling at her. Zoe’s feet stopped working, the coffee cup falling from her hand to the floor. Richard closed the distance between them. “Is it really you?” Richard laughed “Yes it’s me” he took her hand “do you fancy breakfast?” Zoe couldn’t get her mouth to work so she nodded.

Zoe woke and was confused as to where she was, she was wearing a t-shirt that wasn’t hers, then she remembered. Richard had met her outside the hospital, they had eaten breakfast at a quiet greasy spoon café and were strolling back along the riverbank hand in hand when tiredness had gotten the better of her and Zoe had burst into tears. Without breaching confidentiality she told Richard about the baby and he had held her as she cried before drying her eyes and leading her to the train station. She’d followed not knowing where they were going and had then sat on the train with his arm around her shoulders. A short walk from the station had them entering Richard’s house and Richard had shown her to a bedroom, he’d pulled a t-shirt from a drawer and had then left her until returning five minutes later with a glass of orange juice. He’d then told her to sleep. The sheets were crisp but comfortable and Zoe soon settled into a deep sleep. She checked her phone for the time and found it was just before 3pm. She got out of bed, picked up the empty juice glass from the bedside table and headed out the door to find Richard. 

Music played softly from a stereo system. Richard was sat on the floor, papers everywhere in front of him. He was humming along to the song that was playing so Zoe stood watching him. Richard sensed that Zoe was behind him standing in the doorway a smile played on his lips but he continued to hum along to the song and look at the papers in front of him, not that he was concentrating now. After a minute he couldn’t stand the suspense any longer so called out “are you just going to stand there?” Zoe pushed away from the wall and moved to join Richard. She sat just to his left and lent her head onto his shoulder. “Sleep well” Richard asked. “Yes thank you, I can’t believe it’s 3pm” Zoe responded. “I’ll never sleep tonight now”. Richard turned his head towards Zoe’s “perhaps I don’t want you to sleep tonight” he answered.  
Richard cooked pasta in a tomato sauce with chicken and vegetables for dinner. Zoe still remained in the baggy t-shirt she had put on to sleep in whilst Richard was also in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He pushed his empty plate away from him and reached across the table to take Zoe’s hands. “I missed you” he declared. Zoe smiled, “I missed you too”. “I know you probably want to go home” he paused watching her face as he spoke, “but I’d like you to stay here tonight”. Zoe didn’t speak so Richard continued “I’m not suggesting anything I’d just like you to stay. I can sleep in the spare room if you’d prefer”. Richard didn’t want to rush anything with Zoe, as much as he’s like to move past kissing he wanted to make sure Zoe was happy to move things on. He’d struggled to achieve anything whilst in Leicester his thoughts occupied by the brunette nurse who was now sat opposite him. His mother had eventually gotten him to tell her what was bothering him and had tried to send him home on more than one instance. It had taken weeks for Richard to admit to himself he had feelings for her and that he was considering a future with a woman other than family members in his life. “I’ll stay” she declared “but I’ll need to go home tomorrow cos I can’t stay in this t-shirt forever. Richard wanted to argue that she could but chose not to.

They sat watching a DVD side by side on the sofa. Even though she had slept for just over 4 hours earlier today Zoe was tired and struggled to follow the twists and turns of the storyline. She was ready to sleep again when the credits rolled. She had been thinking about Richard’s earlier declaration of sleeping in a separate room, she didn’t want that but also wasn’t sure if she was ready to do anything more than kiss and share a bed. Richard left her sitting on the sofa as he locked the windows and set alarms before leading her upstairs. Zoe pulled on his hand as they reached the final stair, he looked at her. “Don’t sleep in the spare room tonight” she whispered “but all I’m saying is share the bed with me, nothing else.” Richard kissed her lips softly and then made his way to his bedroom. Zoe always had her toothbrush with her when working nights so she cleaned her teeth in the en-suite bathroom, splashed water onto her face and then headed back to the bed. Richard passed Zoe to enter the bathroom himself. He took his time and then made his way to the bed. He laid down facing Zoe, a soft smile lit up her face. Mentally Richard cursed himself, this had been a bad idea he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. He leant in for a kiss envisaging a few gentle kisses before he could settle Zoe to sleep again. He hadn’t expected Zoe to boldly thrust her tongue into his mouth exploring and probing. Their bodies instinctively moved closer together, Richard’s hand caressing the back of Zoe’s head before moving down to her shoulder. Slowly he moved his hand down her arm before moving it across Zoe’s chest brushing a nipple that reacted at his touch. Zoe reacted too pulling her mouth away from his the word no pouring from her mouth in a constant stream. Looking into her eyes Richard could see fear and she didn’t seem to be seeing him. He moved his hand back to her shoulder and she flinched against the firmer touch of his gentle squeeze. “Zoe, it’s Richard, breathe honey” he continued to caress her shoulder knowing she was on the verge of panic. “That’s it breathe honey” he kept repeating until the fear seemed to disappear from her eyes. He smiled at her hoping she would remember where and who she was with. His initial shock to her reaction gone. Zoe was mortified and wanted to distance herself from Richard, he must be regretting asking her to stay. “I’ll go” she declared starting to push the covers off of herself. Richard’s hands stilled her movement before pulling the duvet back up. “Sleep" he said and kissed the top of her head.

Ten minutes later Zoe spoke, she knew Richard was still awake because his hand was rubbing up and down her arm. Her back was facing him so she found the courage to speak about that attack at work that she hadn’t spoken to anyone about other than the police, after being found in the carpark at work. “It was bonfire night” she started. “I’d been looking after a young man who had burns to his hands but was also high on something” she took a breath. “I went to dress his wound and his mates had turned up. They were all high or drunk and started making sexual suggestions so the charge nurse came in and asked me to go and help with a child in resus whilst he dressed the wound. An hour later I needed to find the Dad of the child as he was going to theatre, he’d gone outside for a cigarette.” There was another pause. “It’s not unusual that we need to find people outside the unit so out I went. I saw them almost immediately, the lads that he been making sexual references. One of them spotted me and made a comment that I had been interested in them and was ready for a bit of action.” Richard tried to keep the movements on her arm light but was starting to feel tense, he thought he knew where this was going, he didn’t have to wait long for his thoughts to be confirmed. “They came over and crowded me, initially I was able to hold them off but then one of them got behind me without me realising and he put his arms round my neck and waist. Between them they pushed and pulled me to the carpark and then the one who had the burns said as he was the one who had led them to me he was having me first. I was shouting and screaming but my colleagues couldn’t hear me. With his unbandaged hand he pulled my top open and grabbed my breast. I tried to scream again but my throat hurt where I’d been held around my neck. But that’s when the Dad I’d been looking for appeared and pulled the lads off of me” Tears were rolling down her cheek and Richard desperately wanted to wipe them away but didn’t dare move his hand. He was angry that she had been through this ordeal but was grateful that the lads hadn’t actually achieved what they had set out to do.  
Zoe felt a weight leave her as she spoke about that night. Richard’s arm was soothing but she wanted to kiss him to forget what had happened and try to make only his touch what her body knew and responded to. She knew she needed to make the move, that Richard probably wouldn’t initiate anything now out of concern that she’s have another panic attack. She twisted to face him, worry was evident on his face. Zoe lifted her hand to caress his cheek feeling the stubble beneath her fingers and then she placed her lips onto his and kissed him with as much passion as she could. She tried to prise his lips open with her tongue and after several attempts their kiss deepened. “I wish you hadn’t experienced that” Richard stated. “So do I” Zoe responded “but I did and I have to get over it.” She gulped. “Sorry I panicked, can we try again?” she smiled shyly “I just need to wire my brain to remember it’s you and I’m safe”. “Let me just hold you for tonight” was the response she received “we can work on everything else later.”


	5. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As feelings become stronger and a relationship is beginning to blossom who is hiding from who

A flash of lightening and a loud rumble of thunder startled Zoe awake, she took a steadying breath and then realised there was an arm across her waist. Panic started to flare in her belly, rising up into her chest. She was preparing to fight when a deep voice whispered “ssshhhh, it’s OK, I’ve got you. It’s only a storm”. Richard was holding her and she was safe. She sighed and closed her eyes snuggling back into his embrace. Within minutes her breathing evened out again indicating she was asleep. Richard continued to hold her, he’d barely slept so far just wanting to be close to her. He had vowed that after working hard, now that his career had taken off he was going to forfeit love but Zoe was making him wonder if he could combine his career with love. He had thought that he had been in love and she had been supported during his early career but actually once he was a household name and being offered parts that took him away for weeks, even months the relationship had broken down. The storm was moving away and Zoe’s breathing and the steady rainfall soothed Richard who also fell into a deep sleep.  
Richard woke to the smell of coffee, he made his way to the kitchen and found Zoe still wearing his t-shirt. She poured him a cup from the pot on the side and slid it across the table to him, he smiled and enquired “what shall we do today?”  
He spent a large portion of the morning on the phone to his agent discussing projects. Zoe had once again tidied the kitchen and had then found a book on the shelf to read whilst Richard worked. She didn’t want to interfere or distract him so she sat curled on the sofa. “Sorry, work sort of took over” Richard declared as he sat beside her. “No worries, I didn’t want to intrude” she replied. Zoe had dressed in the jeans and top she’d been wearing yesterday after work whilst Richard was in a figure hugging blue t-shirt and dark jeans, his feet bare. Heading out they took a stroll in the park during which Zoe said she needed to head home tonight. Richard was disappointed he’d wanted to get her to stay again to see if they could take things further, but Zoe had spoken first so he said he understood but asked if he could see her again. Zoe explained she was on leave for a few days, she said she wanted to sort her house out but was happy to have drinks tomorrow night.  
Zoe felt she needed to give herself some space away from Richard, she’d nearly told him she loved him whilst they’d been walking in the park but she wasn’t sure how he would react to that declaration. She knew that things had progressed in their relationship, if she hadn’t reacted to his touch on her breast they probably would have made love but now he knew what had happened she didn’t feel the fear that she had ever since that night. She needed to take the lead in developing the relationship but declaring her love for him wasn’t the first step. She wanted some time to herself to think things through.

They met for drinks as arranged but during the evening Richard said he was heading off again for work and didn’t know when he would be back. Zoe tried to hide her disappointment, she had been going to suggest a few days away so that she could see if they could take the next step but that would have to wait until Richard came back.

Richard needed space so he’d said he was going away. He’d now been staying at Aiden Turner’s cottage in Cornwall for nearly two weeks. He’d read scripts and spoken to his agent almost every day but he’d only called Zoe twice. The first time she hadn’t answered, even though she was on leave he thought she was probably at work so he’d said he’d call again which he did 3 days later. They spoke for about 45 minutes before ending the call, she’d asked when he would be back but he didn’t answer. He was hiding. Even though he was an actor known for a variety of roles on TV and Film he was a quiet sensitive soul and he was struggling with his feelings for Zoe. He’d spoken to his brother telling him everything. His brother had told him to go home and speak with Zoe, see if she would consider a relationship with a moody actor. He’d also reminded Richard that it wouldn’t be easy but if he really did have feelings for Zoe and she had feelings for him they would be able to work out how to make it work but there would be bumps in that road. He’d mulled over his brother’s advice for 48 hours and finally decided he needed to do as had been suggested. He packed his bags into his car and started the long journey back to London.


	6. The declaration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard returns to London and finds the courage to ask for a formal relationship

Zoe was never sick, but today she felt awful. Her head hurt, her eyes were constantly running and she felt hot and shivery. When her colleague Clare brought her a coffee she’d almost cried. Over their coffee’s she’d proceeded to tell Clare that she’d met someone but thought she’d blown her chances of a relationship with him and then she had cried. The department was quiet and for once they had a full complement of nursing staff on duty so Clare told Zoe to go home and rest. She also advised her to stop worrying saying what would be would be.   
Zoe had changed into her pyjamas and was sitting on her sofa with a mug of hot chocolate. She had North and South playing on her DVD player. She knew she was torturing herself seeing Richard’s face on the screen. She actually sympathised with Margaret Hale who had realised that she loved John Thornton but had never told him. She’s watched this DVD numerous times and knew what was going to happen. Margaret had asked Henry to go back to Milton with her but she hadn’t been able to see John Thornton, just his mother who wasn’t keen on Margaret Hale. She was waiting for the kiss, she touched her own lips remembering how Richard kissed her. A knock on the door interrupted her viewing. Zoe made her way over opening the door slowly. Standing in front of her was Richard.  
The words he’d wanted to say died on his lips, Zoe looked unwell. Richard picked her up kicking the door shut behind him with his foot, he carried her to the sofa and set her down putting a hand against her head. “You’re hot, do you need a doctor” he pulled his phone from his pocket ready to call someone. Zoe replied “no, I just need some fluids and rest, I’m not normally ill but I must have picked up something from work”. They both looked at each other, both wanting to speak but neither willing to start the conversation. At that point behind Richard his voice came from the TV saying “you’re coming home with me”. He turned to see himself on the screen helping Daniella onto the train before turning back to Zoe. “I agree with what he just said” Richard stated. Zoe started to protect stating she’d make Richard ill as well but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He asked where her bedroom was and then made his way there, Zoe hot on his heels. They packed a bag between them, Zoe finding clothes to change into the Richard just picked up and added to the bag. “My car’s outside, you’re fine as you are, come on.” “I’m in my pyjama’s and slippers, I can’t go out like this” Zoe exclaimed. Richard picked up the bag with one hand and took Zoe’s hand in his other pulling her along behind him. Zoe stopped to turn off the TV, pick up her shoulder bag and keys and then locked the front door. Richard’s car was literally across the road, she climbed in and remained silent for the journey to his house.

Once back at his house Richard gave her paracetamol and a glass of orange juice and then insisted Zoe settled into bed. He said he needed to pop out but wouldn’t be long and suggested that she tried to sleep. Zoe didn’t think that she would but obviously did as when she woke it was dark outside. She felt better than she had earlier but she still picked up her mobile and called work to say she wouldn’t be in the next day but would be back for her next shift in four days’ time. She left the bedroom and found Richard in the kitchen. A vase sat on the counter filled with yellow roses. “Those are for you” Richard stated. “Thank you” said Zoe, “any reason for yellow roses” she laughed. Richard smiled and moved from his spot to stand in front of Zoe, she clearly got the reference to North and South which she had been watching when he found her at home. “I had so much I wanted to say to you this afternoon, but you weren’t well. I didn’t want you to forget my words because of the fever.” “Oh” Zoe whispered. “I have things to say to you too”. Richard led Zoe to the dining table and sat her down before returning to the kitchen. He came back with 2 plates containing chicken, jacket potato and salad. They sat in silence for a while eating, before Richard spoke. Zoe listened intently as Richard spoke about the drama’s his previous girlfriends had caused and how that had impacted his future relationships. He confessed he hadn’t been looking for anything when they first met and it was pure chance of the events of the evening that had led then going out form drinks but since then he told Zoe he hadn’t been able to forget her. “I want a relationship with you” he claimed, “I want to see if we can work around my travel, my work taking me away for months. Do you think you can cope with me being here one minute and being gone for months the next?” He looked into Zoe’s eye and could see unshed tears. He’d bared his soul to her but could feel disappointment building in his throat as he expected her to say she wasn’t able to commit to him but then her small voice filled his ears just saying “Yes”.


	7. Next Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having decided to try to build a relationship the couple move their relationship forward and Richard asks Zoe to meet his family at Christmas

They spent the next 3 days together, they worked out when Richard would be away and for how long. Zoe said she’d see if she could book some leave whilst he was in Germany filming Berlin Station series 2 to come out and visit aware though that he would be working for long periods of time. They also looked at when Zoe could meet Richard’s family. Richard wanted to meet Zoe’s family but that would need to wait. They shared Richard’s bed but still hadn’t made love although things had gotten close. But Richard had said he wanted to make their first time together special and suggested that they booked some time away, somewhere quiet. They looked at Zoe’s work rota and Richard’s commitments and found they could book two nights in 9 days’ time. Richard asked Zoe where she wanted to go, but she just said he could surprise her. He thought about asking Aiden if he could use his cottage again but decided against that. He then had another thought and made some calls.  
She was ready and waiting with her bag packed when Richard pulled up at her door. They headed out of London towards the South soon driving though open countryside rather than the city. Zoe enquired where they were going but Richard just smiled. Just over two hours later Richard pulled into a car park for a railway. Taking Zoe’s hand he led her from the car park to a ticket office, where he was informed they should take a seat on the platform and that the train was due in fifteen minutes. The station was old fashioned. “Do you recognise this” Richard asked walking slowly along the platform. Zoe looked confused and shook her head he led her to a bench and asked the same question. Zoe was even more confused and Richard couldn’t help but laugh. He took her face in his hands and asked “could you be my Miss Hale?” before kissing her firmly on the lips. “Oh my, is this where you filmed the station scene” Zoe asked looking around and realising that she was sat on the bench where John kissed Margaret. The train arrived and Richard and Zoe took a short journey on the train before returning to the station. Zoe smiled throughout the journey, she couldn’t have picked anything better herself for a day with Richard.  
They left the station and headed out to a cottage in Ashdown Forest. It was still light when they arrived so Richard challenged Zoe to a game of pooh sticks at Pooh Bridge after which they returned to the cottage and cooked the food that Richard had arranged to be delivered. There was even a bottle of champagne that was cooling in an ice bucket. After the meal they sat and chatted until Zoe leaned in and planted a kiss on Richard’s lips. “Enough talking” she said. Richard didn’t need telling twice so he led her to the bedroom and proceeded to show Zoe what she meant to him.

They spent every moment possibly together over the summer until the time came for Richard to head off and start filming, their relationship blossoming. Zoe struggled initially when Richard headed out to Germany but they face-timed each other most days. As the weeks passed they made plans for Richard’s return, then one evening Richard asked if she would go to Leicester with him for Christmas. Zoe told Richard she was working nights to finish on Christmas Eve morning but was then back at work on Boxing Day afternoon so it would literally be Christmas Day that she could spend with him. Zoe’s mother had been a teenager when she had Zoe, her father leaving when she was nearly two years old. She still had contact with him but they weren’t close. Although they had coped Zoe hadn’t been surprised when at the age of nine her mother had remarried and she now had two much younger half-brother’s so it had always difficult for Zoe to spend Christmas with them after she moved out to start her nurse training and career. Richard said he’d drive to Leicester on Christmas Eve with Zoe and that he’d bring her back for her shift on Boxing Day. This led to their first disagreement as Zoe stated he couldn’t do that and needed to be with his family, they argued for a few minutes before Richard sighed and said “I just want to be with everyone who is important to me this Christmas”. He looked dejected so Zoe gave in saying “if you are sure you want to wait to go on Christmas Eve and then bring me back on Boxing Day of course I will come with you.”  
Zoe panicked about what gifts she should get not only for Richard but for his family. Clare offered some advice and she managed to sort out Richard’s family but still didn’t know what to get him. He had a nice watch, had wardrobes full of designer labels and didn’t need useless knick-knacks. In the end she settled for a CD that she thought he would like and she found a picture of the mountains in New Zealand where The Hobbit had been filmed that she had framed. She could have asked him what he would like after all he had asked her what he could get her. She had initially said he could choose whatever he liked but he’d insisted he wanted to get something she wanted or needed so eventually she had said she needed a new stethoscope and Richard had said he would get it for her.  
Richard arrived back in the UK on December 19th and was desperate to see Zoe. However he had been on a plane so decided to go home to take a shower before he called her and asked if she would come over. His housekeeper would have stocked his fridge so he could cook although all he wanted was to get Zoe into his arms and into bed. Zoe was juggling her keys and her shopping bags trying to get in her front door when he phone started ringing. She put the bags down and pulled her phone out of her bag she hit the answer button still trying to get in the door. “Hello” she answered breathlessly, a deep laugh at the other end of the phone soon had her squealing. She burst through her door phone glued to her eye saying “Richard, is that you, where are you, are you home, Richard talk to me”. He laughed again and said “I will if you let me speak”. Zoe sighed contentedly. “So do you have any plans today or can I tempt you to come over and see me”. Zoe said she’d be out of her door as soon as she could put her food shopping away.


	8. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe spends Christmas with Richard and his family and is shocked by his ultimate present for her

They had agreed that Richard would pick Zoe up from her house in Vauxhall at 9am on Christmas Eve. He had offered to collect her from work but she’d said she didn’t want to take all of her bags into the hospital so it would be better to collect her from the house. She was very quiet when he arrived, he kissed her gently but could tell she wasn’t her usual self. “Are you worried my mother will hate you” he enquired. “Oh no, sorry it was just a long night, I’m a bit tired, sorry” she kissed his cheek “I’m really looking forward to meeting your family”. Richard was still worried she wasn’t her usual self but decided to leave this conversation until they were either on their journey or at his parents. Nonetheless he added “I’ve told my parents we are sharing my bed, no questions, so don’t worry about having to sneak into my bedroom later”. Zoe laughed and punched him lightly on the arm to which Richard raised his eyebrows suggestively.  
Zoe was tired and didn’t want to dampen the Christmas spirit but she’d spent most of her final part of the night shift in the mortuary with a family whose seven month old baby had been brought in at 3am the victim of sudden infant death syndrome (also known as cot death). She’d seen the devastation on the father’s face and he’d talked about the gifts that were under the tree for his precious son. She knew Richard would listen, comfort her and offer words of wisdom but he looked so happy when he arrived to pick her up she’d tried to hide her feelings. He’d been thoughtful and had reclined the seat and given her a blanket that she was snuggled under as he drove. Silent tears for the baby rolled down her cheeks, she was certain Richard couldn’t see, her face looking out of the passenger window. He eyes were growing heavy from tiredness and were trying to close when Zoe realised the car had slowed. Before she could speak, Richard had unbuckled both his seatbelt and hers and was hauling her into his lap. He stroked her hair and whispered “I’m here, whatever has upset you or is worrying you I’m here and ready to listen. Please don’t cry baby”. Zoe remained in his arms crying for several minutes before calming down, Richard still stroking her hair. He kissed the top of her head. “Do you need to talk?” “No” Zoe whispered “I don’t want to ruin your Christmas break, I’ll be fine. It was a tough night at work, honestly”. Richard kissed the top of her head again. “Baby, whatever is upsetting you won’t ruin my Christmas. I can’t being to understand the things you have to deal with at work but I can listen and comfort you and that’s what I’m offering you now”. He didn’t think she was going to speak especially when she pushed out of his hold and moved back into her seat. She rubbed her hands over her face and then told Richard about the baby and how she had to comfort the father knowing his Christmas was destroyed when she was so much looking forward to spending hers with him. Richard squeezed her knee, told her she had offered comfort to that family that they would never forget and then told Zoe to try to sleep whilst he drove them to Leicester.

Richard’s family welcomed Zoe easily, greeting her like a long lost friend. They had even hung a stocking with her name on it with all of the others. His mother fussed over him saying he’d lost weight again and telling Zoe she needed to make sure he ate healthily when they were back in London, making Richard flush furiously. When she was able to get his mother alone Zoe apologised for restricting the time that Richard was spending at home. The older woman looked at her and smiled, just like her son and then insisted that any time with her son was better than nothing. She then muttered something along the lines of being perfect and Richard needing to act soon.  
Richard offered Zoe the option of staying behind rather than going to Midnight Mass with the family as she was looking as if she was asleep on her feet. But having helped prepare some of the vegetables for Christmas dinner she said she would freshen herself up and go with them. They walked the short distance to the church, Richard taking his mother’s arm whilst Zoe walked beside his father. At the church Richard’s brother and sister-in-law greeted them and they all sat together in the middle of the church. After the service lots of people greeted Richard whilst Zoe spoke with his sister-in-law. Minutes later Richard appeared and said he was taking Zoe home to sleep and she admitted that she was now feeling extremely tired. Richard was tempted to pick her up and carry her home but he knew there were photographers lurking. So far they had managed to keep their relationship hidden but Richard knew he needed to speak to Zoe about the possibility their photo would appear in one of the gossip magazines soon, especially if things went as he hoped over the next 24 hours.  
Zoe woke snuggled against Richard’s chest with his arms around her. “Merry Christmas Baby” he whispered and kissed her deeply. When their lips parted she replied “Merry Christmas” and smiled. She couldn’t remember a better Christmas. “Can we stay here a little longer or do we have to get up” she enquired. “I’d like to stay here with you all day but that isn’t possible, but I think we can have a few more minutes” Richard answered her. Fifteen minutes later they showered before heading to breakfast. Zoe and Richard both opted for fruit and toast over a cooked breakfast, Zoe then helped with more preparation for dinner as Richard spent time with his father.  
Later that morning his brother, sister-in-law and nephew arrived and they all sat in the living room to exchange gifts. Zoe unwrapped her favourite perfume from Richard’s parents and a Champneys bath set from his brother and sister-in-law. His nephew gave her a box of Thornton’s chocolates and she had to laugh at the irony. Richard loved everything he unwrapped from his family even though most of his gifts were a joke except for his aftershave from his parents. He carefully unwrapped the present that Zoe handed him, and exclaimed that he loved the picture and would hang it in his office at home to remind him of his time in New Zealand. Zoe tried not to blush as everyone looked at her. All that was left to open was Richard’s gift to Zoe, she ripped the paper in her haste to get into it and then opened the box that the paper had concealed. Inside was a necklace, a silver chain with an emerald heart shaped pendant hanging from it. “Wow” was all that left Zoe’s mouth. “I thought it matched your eyes” Richard stated and his brother mimed that her felt sick which earnt him a dig in the ribs from his wife. Richard helped Zoe put the chain on and his sister-in-law agreed that the colour matched her eyes perfectly. 

The rest of the day flew by, lunch was amazing and completely filled Zoe so much so that she declared she wouldn’t eat for days. Richard accompanied her for a walk during the afternoon and took the opportunity to sneak in a few kisses without his family watching. His brother, sister-in-law and nephew left at 8pm to go home so Richard and Zoe settled in with his parents to watch a movie. Once the film finished his parents excused themselves to bed leaving Zoe and Richard together on the sofa. Richard again thanked Zoe for his gift, saying they would be listening to the CD on their way home tomorrow. Zoe said Richard had been too generous and the necklace must have cost him a fortune, he told her not to worry about money, he wanted her to be happy because she made him happy. They kissed and were soon starting to remove clothing from each other before Zoe pulled back and laughing said “perhaps this isn’t the best idea, just in case your parents come back”. Richard was about to say that wouldn’t be a problem when he heard someone descending the stairs. Richard’s father appeared claiming he needed to put the phone on charge, so once he had left again Richard turned off the TV and lights and led Zoe upstairs. He let Zoe use the bathroom first and when she returned to the bedroom Richard was sat on his bed holding another box. He patted the bed beside him indicating he wanted Zoe to sit, she did as he’d asked. Richard looked worried.   
He took his time before starting to speak. “Zoe, we met just over a year ago and since then you have become incredibly important to me.” He swallowed, “You know about my concerns regarding relationships given my previous girlfriends but I don’t have those concerns with you. You don’t want my money, you don’t ask for gifts, you even tell me I’m spoiling you when I send yellow roses”. That had become his thing after the day they had agreed to try to have a relationship and he had sent yellow roses almost every week. “I’m surprised the gossip columns haven’t found out about us before now” he claimed, “but baby I think they might start to become interested in us soon”. He cleared his throat “I’ve got some more events I need to go to and I want you by my side”. Zoe stroked Richard’s arm “it’s OK, we can get through this and if our picture gets into a few magazines I can live with it”. Richard smirked looking like Guy of Gisbourne, “you might get a few death threats from the army when they see the photos”. Zoe must have looked confused at that comment, “not The Army but the Armitage Army, my fan base” he claimed. Zoe was silent a moment and then stated matter of factly, “your fans should be happy for you. I understand the initial jealousy and the reaction that causes but ultimately they should be happy for you because surely they want you to be happy in all aspects of your life, not just your work”. Richard stared at her and then rubbed a thumb over her cheek bone “you are amazing, that’s why you are so special to me”. He kissed her and their tongues duelled. “As much as I want to taste every inch of your body, I daren’t in my parents’ house, I know how noisy you can be”. Zoe pushed Richard away “that’s because of the wicked things you do to me” she countered. “Go use the bathroom and let’s get some sleep”.  
“I will” he replied “but I have this gift for you first”. Zoe had been distracted from the box she’d seen in Richard’s hand when she’d entered the room by their conversation. “But it comes with a question”. Richard dropped to a knee on the floor in front of her, he opened the box revealing a ring with an emerald that matched the one Zoe had around her neck “Will you marry me?”


	9. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple make plans for a wedding later in the year but after the wedding Zoe is shocked by Richard's reaction to a simple query from one of his friends, has she made a mistake?

Zoe gasped and then burst into tears before nodding her head. “Is that a yes” he asked taking the ring from the box. Zoe nodded again and put her left hand out in front of her for Richard to put the ring on her finger. It fitted perfectly and all she could do was fling her arms around his neck. They climbed into bed with Richard holding Zoe’s left hand whilst kissing her with all the passion he could.  
Richard’s parents were thrilled at the news the next morning, they needed to leave to get Zoe back for work but before they left he asked for the phone numbers of her parents to speak with them. Zoe sat beside Richard in the bedroom and listened to his side of both conversations he had with her mother and father. She could hear her mother screaming about her baby getting married before being handed the phone. Zoe agreed to include her mother in her plans for the wedding once she and Richard had made some decisions themselves. When he spoke to her father he was respectful and even though he said he had asked her to marry him and she had agreed he asked for his permission. Her father struggled to accept that he was speaking to the man who had played Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit but once he got over that he was thrilled that his daughter was happy. He invited the couple to visit him when it was convenient which they agreed they would do once Richard had finished filming in February.

Neither of them wanted a big wedding with lots of fuss but they agreed to marry in a church for the sake of Richard’s parents. Zoe had grown up in a small village in Kent so once Richard was back from filming they started to make plans. Her mother still lived in Kent so on a Thursday morning in March Zoe drove them down to Kent to see her. They told her of their plans for a relatively small event, initially her mother tried to make her have a big affair but she backed down when Richard said he wanted Zoe to have the day of her life not someone else’s dream. They left her mother’s home in the early afternoon and moved onto the village she had grown up in to see the Vicar. Richard fell in love with the small village church and agreed it was perfect and they booked a date for October that year. In fact Richard loved the village, Zoe showed him the primary school she had attended and then the little house she had grown up in.  
Time flew by quickly as Zoe made plans for the wedding and moved into Richard’s house whilst renting her’s out. Richard spent the early part of the summer away in America but was back home towards the end of July and made sure that he had nothing else in his diary until after the wedding. The team working on Berlin Station had accepted that Richard wouldn’t be joining until late October for filming of series 3 aware that he was getting married. Surprisingly the news of their relationship and forthcoming wedding didn’t make the gossip magazines until the beginning of August. As expected initially there were a few vicious comments from Richard’s fan base but Richard made a statement via his agent saying how happy Zoe made him and asking his fan’s to be happy for them too. He also asked that they allowed him his privacy on his wedding day and if this was the case he would share some select exclusive photos. Soon after the cards and packages started to arrive from his agent’s office wishing the couple happiness and luck. Zoe lost count of the numerous horseshoes they were sent in almost every colour imaginable along with other amazing thoughtful gifts. They asked his agent to donate as many as possible to good causes but kept a few like embroidered pictures and pillows personalised specifically for them.  
Two weeks before the wedding Richard and Zoe has only their second argument of their relationship. Richard suggested that Zoe might like to give up work and Zoe had reacted by stating she wouldn’t live off of her husband. Richard had said that was his purpose in life now, to support her and Zoe had countered that she wasn’t being tied to a kitchen with children running around her feet. The argument had continued until Richard had walked away, he hadn’t returned home six hours later and Zoe was getting worried when her mobile rang with a withheld number. Fear gripped her thinking it was a hospital saying Richard was lying in a bed injured. She answered and a voice she knew but couldn’t place asked “Am I speaking to Zoe?” “Yes” she muttered “this is Zoe”. “Good I just wanted to let you know Richard has passed out on my sofa drunk, so I’ll keep him here tonight” “Is he OK” she asked. “Yes, just had a few too many Jack Daniels, I’ll send him home in the morning.” The line went dead but at least she knew he was OK.  
She struggled to sleep worrying that he would vomit in his sleep and choke and wondered whether she should stop working. She could stay on the bank working the odd shift when she wanted so that she did have some of her own money but would that be enough for her, she didn’t know. She had a headache in the morning and still hadn’t decided what was right when Richard came into the bedroom carrying yellow roses. Zoe flung herself at him tears rolling down her face. Through her sobs she told him she didn’t like fighting but she needed her independence. Richard apologised for upsetting her and acknowledged he didn’t own her and if she wanted to work that was fine by him. This made Zoe cry even more. Richard’s phone rang and with one arm still around Zoe he answered and told the caller he was home and then ended the call they then remained hugging each other and lay down on the bed. They both woke three hours later to a ringing phone, the dress shop had called Zoe to say her dress was ready for collection, she thanked them and said she would arrange for her mother to pick it up. 

Zoe stood in her mother’s house in her dress knowing in just over two hours she would be Mrs Richard Armitage. She’d seen the day before when she and Richard had arrived in Kent who had accepted their invitation to attend the wedding and was now concerned about gossip magazine photographers attending as most of the cast of The Hobbit were coming as well as Keith Allen from Robin Hood. Richard has said she would outshine everyone no matter what before he left to spend a night in a hotel with his parents and brother’s family. Her mother preened until she left to go to the church leaving Zoe with her father. She and Richard had been to visit him and his new wife as agreed in February, the men had hit it off and had gone off to a golf course together much to the amusement of Zoe.

Before she knew it Zoe had walked down the aisle and was kissing Richard having been pronounced man and wife. At the reception venue Richard introduced her to his friends. As she was introduced to Martin Freeman and his wife, Zoe realised that he had been the one who had called when she and Richard had argued and Richard had drunk too much. Despite it being her wedding reception Zoe was a little star struck at all the people who were congratulating her. Due to his work commitments Richard and Zoe were planning a honeymoon for next year but they had a couple of days away planned. Richard had arranged everything and all Zoe knew was they needed to leave the reception at 9:30pm and she didn’t need to change from her dress. At 9:20pm she threw her bouquet and then she and Richard thanked their families and said goodbye to everyone.  
They spent the next 3 days in the cottage in Ashdown Forest where they had stayed previously. They played pooh sticks again but generally spent their time together in bed.  
Richard went off to Germany the day after they got home and Zoe returned to work. They spoke every day, often two or three times per day. One call in mid-November Richard informed Zoe that Berlin Station had been nominated for an award so some of the cast and crew would need to attend the event in London in January. Richard asked Zoe if she would go with him, Zoe answered by squealing and Richard laughed.

She waited until Richard was home on December 17th from the Christmas filming break to decorate their home wanting to make their first Christmas as a married couple special even though she was working on Christmas Day afternoon. They still made the holiday period special and even though Richard said he wanted to spend as much time solely with her as possible they agreed to join Benedict Cumberbatch at his Thames side apartment for a New Year’s Eve celebration. As they watched the fireworks lighting up the sky and welcoming in the New Year Benedict joined them at the window, his infant son in his arms having just been fed. Zoe gazed at the sleeping baby causing Benedict to ask when they would be welcoming a tiny life into the world. Zoe wanted to say as soon as they possibly could but Richard beat her to an answer saying “we’re just having fun with the trying to make a baby at the moment, no plans for someone else in our lives at the moment”. On their taxi ride home Zoe asked Richard if he really wanted to wait before they had a baby. She knew his mother had said to him on their wedding day that she was looking forward to another grandchild implying she wanted them to expand their family. Richard stared out of the window and said “the time isn’t right at the moment, I’m going to be away and won’t be around to go to appointments with you” he turned to look at Zoe. “I want us to have a baby together, to see scans, feel those first kicks of our child in your belly together, not be sitting in America worrying whether you are getting enough sleep or are eating properly” he sighed “do you understand?” Zoe took his hand “of course I do” she leant her head on his shoulder, “we can talk about this some other time”. She silently prayed that the fact she’d forgotten to take her birth-control pills for a couple of days when Richard came home before Christmas wouldn’t cause her a problem.  
Two days later she breathed a sigh of relief when her period started. She had thought about telling Richard she’d forgotten her pill for 3 days when she realised and to start conversations about trying for a baby but had changed her mind at the last minute. Then Benedict had broached the subject with them and she had been surprised by Richard’s response. She didn’t truly agree with his reasoning for waiting, Zoe was concerned there would always be work to take him away for a period of time whilst she could be pregnant. Richard left again on the same day and was away for 6 days finishing the final scenes of the next series of Berlin Station before coming home two days before the awards event.


	10. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the award's see's the couple have another argument resulting in Richard walking out and leaving Zoe at home but disaster strikes as Zoe collapses and is left lying at the bottom of the stairs until Richard find's her there. There is more trouble to come however when the cause of her collapse is identified.

Zoe felt awful, she had felt sick constantly for three days and had been vomiting. Richard arrived home from the airport to find his wife leaning over the toilet retching. She looked pale and weak so he grabbed the washcloth from the sink and soaked it in cool water and then gently wiped Zoe’s face before carrying her back to bed. She smiled weakly and thanked Richard before sinking back into the pile of pillows. The next day she actually felt better bar a pain below her ribs on the left side but Richard insisted in looking after her, saying she needed to be better for the following day and the awards event. Her raspberry pink knee length dress was hanging on the wardrobe door alongside Richard’s tuxedo waiting for her to put it on. The matching black accessories were all inside the wardrobe.  
The pain was still there on the day of the awards and if anything was worse than the day before but Zoe hid it from Richard, acting as normally as possible. She thought the pain was probably muscular due the vomiting and retching and would ease but paracetamol wasn’t doing anything for her. Fifteen minutes before the car Richard’s agent had organised to pick them up was due to arrive Zoe stood looking at herself in the mirror, the dress was gorgeous, her make-up was perfect but she didn’t think she could manage four hours of smiling and being sociable. The pain was now radiating over most of her left abdomen and although she didn’t feel nauseous anymore the thought of food was too much. Richard appeared at the bedroom door before coming over. “You are stunning, how did I get to be so lucky?” he kissed her below her right ear and wrapping his arms around her middle. Zoe smiled at him in the mirror and taking a deep breath stated “Do you think I can stay at home, I still don’t feel right, I don’t want to embarrass you by being ill.” Richard’s eyes darkened and he pulled away from her. His voice rose as he started speaking saying he expected his wife to support him but she was no better than the others and now she had the ring on her finger she had changed. Zoe was shocked, tears started to roll freely down her cheeks, she’d never known Richard to be mean but he was accusing her of wanting his money. She tried to argue back saying she did support him and she didn’t know why she still felt unwell but her pleas appeared to feel on deaf ears. Richard was clearly angry. He paced their bedroom stopped at the bedroom door and glared at his wife. “Forget it, stay here do whatever you like.” He gritted his teeth, “in fact forget everything, we can discuss money tomorrow” he turned and started down the stairs. Zoe rushed to the top of the stairs calling Richard’s name willing him to stop so they could talk, she’d get through the night for him. She loved him and wanted to support him she just didn’t know why she still felt unwell. The front door slammed shut as Zoe called to her husband one last time, loud sobs escaping from her throat. She started to turn to go back and lie on the bed when everything swam in front of her and that was the last thing she knew as she tumbled down the stairs unconscious.

Richard made excuses to his colleagues for Zoe’s absence and took glass after glass of champagne trying to ease the pain in his chest. He had wanted Zoe by his side tonight, wanting to show off his wife but she hadn’t wanted to come. She still struggled with the gossip magazines publishing pictures. There had been one where they had picked out all of her flaws calling her a dwarf when they compared her height of five foot three to his six foot two and she had cried over those comments. Richard has reassured her that the news would be forgotten in days when they moved on to someone else but Zoe had still been affected. He forced down the meal feeling awful for the way he’d spoken to his wife. She wasn’t like his previous girlfriends and even now she barely used his money for anything for herself. She’d even worked an extra Sunday shift to buy her dress for tonight. Berlin Station’s award category came but they didn’t win so Richard excused himself to the bathroom. Whilst using the bathroom Martin Freeman came in and the old friends started talking. Martin asked if Zoe was there and Richard shook his head and then told Martin he’d treated her terribly and he needed to go home to find her. Once outside the bathroom Martin pulled Richard to one side and listened to what had happened prior to the event. Martin slapped Richard on the shoulder and told him to not to let the best thing he’d ever have slip through his fingers. He advised him to go home and grovel, beg for her forgiveness and once he had her forgiveness to hold her all night long. Richard returned to his table to excuse himself to check on his wife and then found his driver and headed home. Martin was right, he needed to apologise and make Zoe the centre of his world. The pain in his chest increasing the closer he got to home.

Richard opened the front door, he had debated in his head calling out to Zoe and just going in and finding her. Thoughts of what if she wasn’t here had crept into his head but he didn’t think she’d run away, that wasn’t her style. Entering the hallway her name died on his lips as he saw Zoe lying on the floor unmoving, he raced to her side looking for blood, she was pale but he could see her chest rising and falling telling him she was breathing. Her skin was cool to touch. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone dialling 999 requesting an ambulance when the call was answered. He said she was breathing but unconscious, they asked if she was bleeding and he still couldn’t see any blood but there was a lump on her head. He was advised the crew were on their way and Richard briefly left Zoe to open the gates to the property and the front door. It seemed like hours as he stoked her hair and spoke to Zoe waiting for the ambulance but within minutes 2 men in green uniforms were there attaching monitors to Zoe. They recognised Zoe and asked Richard repeatedly what had happened but all he could say was he didn’t know as she’d been in the bedroom when he left. She looked so small and helpless as they took her out to the ambulance on a stretcher, a yellow collar around her neck, machines beeping all around them and now two cannula’s in her arms, one with fluids running into the vein.  
The local hospital was at Lewisham but Richard soon realised they weren’t heading that way. The siren screamed as the vehicle raced along before eventually coming to a stop. The doors flew open and Richard realised they were outside Guys and St Thomas’s, Zoe was being rushed into the unit where she worked. He followed behind the trolley but stepped back as the space filled with people in uniforms all calling Zoe’s name. A man in dark green scrubs spoke to Richard asking what happened. Richard relayed coming home and finding her at the bottom of the stairs, he’d just finished speaking when a moan escaped Zoe’s lips. He pushed his way to her side and leant in squeezing her hand “Baby, talk to me baby”. “Richard” she whispered and then fell silent again.

The man in green scrubs seemed to be in charge and ordered scans and a range of tests. A nurse who was clearly a friend of Zoe’s said she’d been off for a couple of days with a sickness bug so more bloods were taken, Zoe’s arm had plasters dotted all over it and her new dress had spots of blood that had been dropped on it. Due to the zip her dress needed removing before the scan so the nurse asked everyone to leave so she could change Zoe into a gown. Once this was done she informed Richard she would put the dress in the staff room. Thirty minutes later Richard was told that Zoe’s brain scan was clear, she had a bump on the front of her head but there was no damage under her skull and no fractures. He was asking the man in the scrubs why she wasn’t waking up when his name whispered from Zoe’s lips again. He was by her side in an instant and he kissed her cheek. “Zoe, baby, look at me”. Zoe’s eyes were glassy but she looked towards her husband. “Baby, we need to find out what’s wrong, are you in pain?” Richard demanded of her. The man in green scrubs was beside him. “Zoe, it’s Mark, can you tell us if you have pain?”. “My head” she croaked trying to move her hand to the lump above her left eyebrow. “OK and anywhere else?” Mark asked . Zoe tried to lick her lips before saying “my abdomen has hurt for five days” she paused then continued “thought it was the bug I had or muscle tear from retching, but it’s not getting better”. Mark’s hands were feeling her abdomen “right side Zoe” he asked suggestive on appendicitis a surgical emergency that could have caused her collapse. “No the left” Zoe answered and winced as Mark’s hands found the tenderness. “Any chance of pregnancy” Mark asked, Richard remained silent. “Don’t think so” Zoe said, “had a period on Jan 2nd although it was different to usual, lighter and I did miss a couple of pills in December”. She looked towards Richard and then looked away ashamed he was hearing this at the same time as a room full of medical staff. He started to pull his hand away but Zoe gripped it as hard as she could. They’d have to talk about this later.  
Mark requested an ultrasound scanner and when it arrived Richard looked intently at the screen as did Zoe. Mark started in the middle of her abdomen and made a thorough scan of her uterus. “I can’t see anything” Zoe said “can you?” looking towards Mark. Richard didn’t realise he had been holding his breath until Zoe squeezed the hand that was holding hers. “No” said Mark, “let’s look to the left in this tender area”. The cool jelly glided over Zoe’s skin until it stopped as Mark pressed buttons on the keyboard magnifying an area he wanted to see closer. Zoe saw his adam’s apple bob and knew Mark did that when he was worried about a patient. “What is it Mark” she asked unable to disguise the worry she was now feeling. Did she have cancer? Richard’s hand squeezed hers tighter again, he wasn’t coping well with this but to his credit he hadn’t left her. Mark looked between the two of them, “I’m getting a second opinion” he stated “but I think I’ve found a foetus in the fallopian tube” he swallowed “I think you have an ectopic pregnancy”.

The second opinion from an obstetrician confirmed an ectopic pregnancy. Zoe knew what this meant but listened as it was explained to Richard. She couldn’t speak to him, he’d made it clear only two weeks ago he didn’t want a baby and her she lay with a baby threatening her life. The baby wouldn’t survive and Zoe needed surgery to save hers. They didn’t know what damage there was to the fallopian tube and wouldn’t until she was in theatre and the obstetrician could see what was happening. Zoe signed her consent form and was prepared for theatre. Richard walked beside her to the doors of the anaesthetic room, they both remained silent until they reached their destination. One porter opened the doors to the room but Richard said “stop”. He bend down and placed a kiss on Zoe’s lips. “I love you” he whispered against her lips, “I love you too” Zoe responded and then felt a splash of a tear land on her face. She stared into Richard’s eye’s silently asking for his forgiveness and showing him all the love she felt for him. Then she was moving again and her hand slipped from Richard’s as her stood watching her head towards surgery.  
Even though it was almost 2am he called his brother, he answered the phone on the fourth ring and was greeted by the sound of Richard sobbing. Richard eventually calmed himself down and explained what was going on. His brother offered to come down to be with him but Richard declined the offer. He told him everything including the argument of that night and how selfish he’d been when they had briefly spoken about having a baby. His brother said he understood why he’d said what he’d said and all Richard kept saying was that this episode was exactly why he’s made that decision. He was terrified that something would happen if he wasn’t around to look after Zoe. His brother listened but then said Zoe was stronger than Richard gave her credit for but would always need him. Even if something happened and he wasn’t there Zoe would call him and he could get to her no matter where in the world he was. Richard eventually had to agree. He spent the next ninety minutes worrying he’d never get to apologise to her.


	11. Recovery Stage One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Richard and Zoe feel guilty about their part in the events that have taken place but can they get over their guilt and start to move on.  
Zoe remains unclear where she stands, and now wonders whether she will get to live happily ever after with a family

Zoe woke to find the pain in her side had changed and was now a sharper pain. She tried to move but something to her right was holding the covers down, she glanced that way and saw Richard’s head laid on his arms as he slept face down. He was still in his suit although his tie was now gone. Machine’s bleeped around her, the door to the room opened and a nurse came in and recorded Zoe’s observations on the chart at the end of her bed. “Everything still OK” Richard’s voice rumbled. “Yes sir” purred the nurse clearly smitten with the man with the dishevelled hair looking at her. Zoe turned her head towards her husband “Baby, you’re awake” he stood quickly the nurse now forgotten. “Throat” Zoe mouthed indicating her dry mouth and sore throat, the result of the breathing tube that had been used during the surgery. She tried to push herself up but Richard’s arms were around her moving her up the bed into a semi-sitting position. His eyes were red, he was either incredibly tired or he’d been crying. He took the glass of water from the bedside locker and offered Zoe the straw, she took a couple of small sips and then relaxed back against the pillows.  
They remained silent for several minutes until Zoe said “Sorry”. “Don’t” Richard ran his hand through his hair, “I should apologise to you, I was an idiot and shouldn’t have left you when you said you weren’t feeling well. You might not have an egg on your head if I’d stayed with you”. Zoe placed a finger to Richard’s lips. “No I should have told you about missing my birth control pills, but I was so excited you were home for Christmas that I just forgot to take them. I should have known better but I thought we’d be alright.” She indicated for him to pass the water again. After a couple of sips she continued “when you said you weren’t ready for a baby yet I was upset, I understand you want to be around and experience everything but we don’t know where your work will take you. We can plan all we like but having a baby isn’t plannable. I didn’t know how easy it would be to get pregnant and now I don’t even know if I will get pregnant again or whether there is permanent damage as a result of what has happened. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. “Richard I love you and want to build a life with you. I want to support your career but I still want us to have a family to love and protect. You can’t plan everything in detail, I believe you said to me we would face challenges and we’d have to work things out as we went along.” Richard stopped her from saying anything more with a kiss and then told Zoe to rest.  
The obstetrician came in an hour later and explained what he had done. He had removed the section of fallopian tube with the foetus and had joined the two ends together again. He couldn’t say whether scar tissue would form and block the tube but was confident that the fallopian tube on the right side was healthy and there shouldn’t be any reason why Zoe couldn’t conceive again although the chances might be reduced by 50% if the left tube did become ineffective. He looked at Zoe’s abdomen and the wounds he had made laparoscopically rather that a large incision and was happy that they were dry.  
To her disgust Zoe was kept in hospital for forty eight hours due to the bump on her head. Richard had wanted to stay by her side constantly but Zoe had eventually managed to persuade him to go home to change and on the pretence that she needed him to bring her some clothes to go home in. It wasn’t a lie although she could have easily borrowed a pair of scrubs from theatre to wear. She had told him to stay at home overnight and get some sleep himself. She needed some space to herself to digest the events that had occurred. She had temporarily forgotten that they had argued and Richard had left the house without her but now the words he’d spat as he walked away filled her brain, “forget everything, we can discuss money tomorrow”. What did that mean? Did he want a divorce after barely 3 months of marriage? Zoe’s left hand rubbed across her stomach mourning the loss of the baby even though it had threatened her life. Would she ever get to hold a baby in her arms and if she did would it be Richard’s? She was so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn’t hear the door to her room open and was startled when a man’s hand stilled hers. Tears streaming from her eyes silently she looked up to see Martin Freeman standing beside her. He said nothing as the tears flowed he just held her hand on her abdomen. When the tears were slowing Martin enquired “do I need to kick his arse”? Zoe hiccupped a laugh and shook her head, she really didn’t need to discuss this with anyone other than Richard. “I will” Martin stated pulling up a chair to sit beside her. “He really can be a dim witted idiot”. He rubbed a thumb over Zoe’s hand “but, he loves you and I would guess he probably hasn’t shown you that love yet” he swallowed. “I spent months with him filming The Hobbit but he nearly pulled out and didn’t take his part” he looked at Zoe and knew she didn’t know anything about the hurt Richard had suffered. “He needs to tell you this” he huffed. “We weren’t filming but we’d gathered in New Zealand and were learning to walk with our prosthetic feet and were practising fight scene skills” He stopped speaking and Zoe thought he wasn’t going to break Richard’s trust. “His girlfriend at that time called out the blue one day, she said she was at a private clinic in London having an abortion”. Zoe gasped in horror, Marin gave wry smile. “Richard was desperate to fly back but knew even if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop the abortion. Aiden Turner and I spent all night with him just trying to calm him down and help him process what was happening.” Tears were forming at the corners of Zoe’s eyes again. “As soon as we could come back to the UK we did, Richard ended the relationship and said he wasn’t going back to film The Hobbit.” Zoe couldn’t imagine anyone else as Thorin but knew his heart had been shattered by this ex and that he would want to crawl away and hide, licking his wounds in private. Martin explained that he and Aiden had eventually managed to get Richard back on a plane to go back and film and it had taken months to get Richard back to anything like he was when he had first arrived on set.  
“I know I’m speaking out of turn, but his last relationship before you, which resulted in him getting engaged was a mistake, a complete knee-jerk reaction by Richard” Martin stated angrily. “I should have spoken to him, stopped him making another mistake but I had my own issues and I let him get on with it.” He rubbed his thumb across her hand again “But I’m glad he met you and I know you are the one who can rebuild his heart”. He sighed, “You can make his life complete, just give him time.” The door crashed open and in came Benedict Cumberbatch and another man who Zoe recognised as Aiden Turner. “Where is the grumpy sod” Benedict looked around to see if Richard was present. “I sent him home” Zoe said weakly. “So are we going to go and have a chat with him then”? Aiden spoke.  
Zoe clenched the blanket covering her and looked around the room. “Honestly guys, this was all my fault, you shouldn’t be blaming Richard” she fought back the tears that constantly seemed to threaten to fall. Benedict sat on the edge of the bed and stilled her hands on the blanket. “I was the stupid one, it’s my own fault that I’m here. Please” she whispered “don’t be hard on him”. Aiden laughed so Benedict kicked his shin. “Ignore him” he nodded towards Aiden. “I am going to go and find your husband but as a friend, I want to make sure he is OK because, as you have probably realised, he isn’t very good as expressing his feelings to those he loves.” He squeezed Zoe’s hand firmly “Richard just needs us to get him to open up and then he can support you as a husband should.”  
The trio stayed for a while longer, Martin indicating to Benedict that he had been speaking with Zoe before his unceremonious arrival on the scene and interrupted them. Once Martin was happy that Zoe was OK and wasn’t going to blame herself anymore they left heading off to find Richard so they could let him know what they thought of him. Zoe prayed they weren’t too hard on him.


	12. Recovery Stage Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard's guilt and reactions to the events of recent days are praying on both Richard and Zoe's minds. Can they work things out to move forward or does Richard really mean the words he said?  
The words of some of his friend help Richard put everything into context but can he save his marriage?

The water was getting cold but Richard continued to stand under the shower. He couldn’t remember feeling so tired, even though he had managed to doze in the chair at the hospital he hadn’t really slept. His brain had been too active, images of Zoe lying cold and still in a coffin before they changed to images of her cuddling a tiny baby in her arms. Both images terrified him. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bell at the gate. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel but ignored the bell. The bell continued to ring as he dried his body and pulled on a pair of jeans. Grabbing a sweater he strode to the intercom jabbing the button with his finger. “Yes” he growled. “Open the gate” Martin Freeman stated matter of factly, “Come on you grumpy git, we need to talk.” The second sentence was spoken by Benedict Cumberbatch. Richard really didn’t want to see them but he knew Martin wouldn’t go away and would find a way in somehow, so he pressed the gate release button and headed for the front door.   
Martin took one look at Richard and headed for the kitchen, he put the kettle on to boil and found mugs spooning coffee into them. Benedict and Aiden followed Richard into the lounge. Benedict also knew better than to start having a go at Richard having seen the haunted look in his eyes but Aiden didn’t know any better so started questioning Richard about whether he cared about his wife and asking what he would do to make things right again. Richard heard the words coming out of Aiden’s mouth but didn’t take them in. Benedict excused himself to the bathroom but went to the kitchen to speak with Martin. Having decided that Martin was more likely to be able to deal with Richard in his current state, Benedict preceded Martin back into the lounge. He went to Richard’s side and said something that no-one but Richard heard, then stood and said “Come on Aiden, we are leaving.” Aiden protested for a few minutes before he spotted the warning look he was getting from Benedict. He stopped his chatter and stood. He bid Richard goodnight and then followed Benedict to the front door.

Martin handed Richard the mug of coffee and then sat in silence waiting to see if Richard would speak. It took a while but Richard finally broke the silence. “If you hadn’t made me see sense at the awards I might be planning my wife’s funeral” he stated coldly, his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor in front of him. Martin took a sip of his coffee before responding, “I think you are being a little harsh, Zoe’s a tough cookie.” He took another sip of coffee before continuing, “I spoke with her this afternoon when I came to see you both at the hospital. I was going to take you out to let her rest without you fussing.” He grinned at Richard who scowled back. “Come on mate” Martin sighed, “you love her but you acted like a prick.” He put his mug down and stood “you are feeling guilty about your behaviour, even if you had stayed at home with Zoe she would still have ended up in hospital, neither of you knew what was going on.” He looked at Richard who was back looking at the spot on the floor. “By some great hand of fate, Zoe got treatment quickly, in fact she was telling me that another couple of hours and her fallopian tube would have burst, they found the foetus before the fallopian tube ruptured.” Richard lifted his head slightly “and your point is?” he questioned. “My point is, yes Zoe had surgery, and they have tried to give her the best chance of saving the fallopian tube, yes there is a chance that scar tissue will make it ineffective but if you hadn’t found her when you did she could have ended up with sepsis, Zoe’s whole fertility could have been compromised.” Richard had lifted his head again, “whatever happens during her recovery, Zoe can still conceive in the future.”  
“I shouldn’t have left her, I was selfish putting myself and my needs first. I shouldn’t have gone to the awards then she wouldn’t have fallen down the stairs, she wouldn’t be in hospital now.” Richard’s voice cracked as he said the last few words. “You are still thinking about you” Martin stated “stop and think about Zoe, even if you had stayed home she would have ended up in hospital and actually things could have been a lot worse”. Martin stared at Richard, “what does she need from you?” Richard looked at Martin and let the tears flow, he knew she needed his love. Martin and Richard spoke for several hours, well Richard spoke and Martin listened and offered a few words of advice, they drank coffee whilst Richard ordered flowers to be delivered the next morning ready for when Zoe got home, determined to show Zoe she is his world. They would decide together over the next couple of days whether he should travel to America to record a couple of audiobooks over the next couple of weeks or whether he would stay at home and look after her.

Richard arrived at the hospital just before 8:30am, he brought Zoe a pair of her favourite jeans, a t-shirt and a chunky knit sweater in pale green. He also brought her underwear opting for her cotton knickers and bra for comfort. He had also picked up her toiletries bag. Tears leaked from Zoe’s eyes at his thoughtfulness, Richard enveloped her in a hug kissing her temple. “I love you and I’m sorry I was a selfish idiot.” As Zoe’s tears dried she pulled away from Richard offering him a watery smile. “You are my selfish idiot but I love you just the way you are”. Richard’s mouth descended to claim Zoe’s lips and they kissed deeply for several minutes, a sense of peace falling over Richard even though he knew he still needed to show Zoe how important she was to him and to make up for his comments that he desperately wished he’d never spoken.”  
The Obstetrician popped in to see Zoe just after 9am, he gave her an appointment card for a review in 6 weeks’ time including a scan. He advised that they shouldn’t partake in sexual activity for at least two weeks much to Richard’s embarrassment. A few minutes later another doctor came in and checked Zoe’s head and vision asking if she had any pain or dizziness. He was happy for Zoe to go home but also advised that she took things easy for a week or so. Richard assured him that Zoe wouldn’t be lifting a finger.  
The taxi journey home was relatively silent but Richard held Zoe’s hand the whole time rubbing his thumb across the back of it continuously. Zoe wanted to broach the issue that still worried her, did Richard think she was only after his money but the back of a taxi wasn’t the place for that conversation. When they arrived home Richard opened the door and Zoe spotted a large vase of yellow roses on the coffee table in the lounge, Richard took Zoe’s coat from her and led her to the lounge, the aroma from the roses filled the room. Richard made tea whilst Zoe sat on the sofa, when he brought the filled mugs he also brought a plate of her favourite biscuits. She took one but struggled to swallow her first bite, her throat felt tight the need to find out if her marriage was over clawing at her. She gulped down a mouthful of tea but still couldn’t bring herself to start the conversation. The silence between then stretched on, Zoe stood saying she was feeling tired and wanted to lie down, Richard offered to go with her but Zoe told him she’d prefer to go on her own so taking the mug of tea she headed up the stairs. She stopped at the top to see just how far she had fallen, a shiver running down her spine as she felt relief she hadn’t broken something or seriously hurt herself. Entering the bedroom Zoe found further yellow roses interspersed with purple freesias in a vase on the dressing table. The bed linen had also been freshly changed, taking off her jumper and jeans Zoe climbed under the duvet and let her tears flow until she fell asleep.

Richard checked on Zoe several times but found her asleep each time. It broke his heart when he first checked in on her to see her face streaked with tears, it hurt him even more to know that he was the cause of her tears. Even if she was mourning the loss of the baby that was his fault, but he knew he was the actual source of her pain and tears. Things hadn’t gone as he had hoped when they arrived home. Richard had hoped they would talk and he could take back everything he’d said to cause Zoe distress over the past 3 days. He’d brought yellow roses and now he was preparing a meal for them, he wanted to do everything he could for her, he wanted to show her that she was his world but he hadn’t known where to start and then she’d excused herself. She had looked tired this morning when he’d arrived at the hospital so it didn’t surprise him that Zoe had been asleep for over three hours. He turned off the oven happy that the one pot casserole was cooked, he could reheat it if Zoe slept much longer. He just needed to cook the potatoes that were sitting in a pan on the stove when she wanted to eat. His mobile pinged, looking at the screen he saw he had a message from Martin, he opened it. It asked how things were going, Richard sent a brief reply saying not to plan. He was sliding the phone back into his pocket when Zoe’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Something smells good” she stated pulling out a stool at the kitchen workstation. Richard smiled, “Mum’s beef casserole recipe” he told her “are you hungry? I just need to cook the potatoes”. Zoe nodded so Richard ignited the ring under the saucepan then pulled at the stool opposite Zoe. He reached across and picked up her left hand, his thumb rubbing on her wedding ring twisting it round her finger. They both spoke the other’s name at the same time, before smiling at each other. “I’d normally say ladies first but I need to get something off my chest” Richard declared.  
He cleared his throat and then still rubbing the ring on Zoe’s finger spoke. He apologised again, called himself an idiot again and looking into Zoe’s green eyes asked if she would forgive him for his behaviour. Zoe started to speak but Richard stopped her by raising his hand. “You apologised to me at the hospital but I am the only person who needs to say sorry anymore. I said things in the heat of the moment that I really shouldn’t have said. I was selfish, thinking only of myself, the awards shouldn’t have been my priority, you should have been my only concern. I understand that I’ve hurt your feelings but please believe me when I say I know you don’t want my money but I just reacted when you said you didn’t want to come to the awards with me.” Richard swallowed, his voice thick with emotion. “I was upset because I thought you just didn’t want to be with me at the awards so I struck back”. Zoe pulled her hand away, Richard dropped his head, he was trying to let her know how he thought but she was still walking away. Zoe’s fingers lifted his chin and she sat herself onto his lap. “Its OK” she crooned, “I love you Richard, and you cannot take all the blame. I’ve already told you about missing my pill but I should have said sooner in the day that I was in pain and didn’t want to go out”, she kissed his cheek. “I wanted to go with you, to support you but when it came to the crunch I knew I couldn’t go but I didn’t express myself to you properly.”

“You can’t know how I felt when I saw you on the floor, I feared I had lost you and then at the hospital I just couldn’t take everything in and I know I didn’t give you the support you needed” Zoe wiped the tears from his cheek. “I know Martin told you what happened when I was in New Zealand, I probably should have told you and we could have talked about children, but I am scared that history will repeat itself.” “I wouldn’t do that to you Richard” Zoe whispered, “as I said to you in the hospital, we can’t plan a baby to fit in with your work, we can try but we can’t set dates in stone, it doesn’t work like that.” She kissed his cheek again, “but I wouldn’t ever deliberately get rid of our baby.” Richard’s arms tightened around Zoe’s waist, they sat like that for minutes until the sound of the potatoes boiling broke them apart as Zoe stood and turned off the ring.   
The food was delicious, Richard could definitely cook. Zoe has a second helping of the casserole she was so hungry and it tasted so good, she started to clear the counter of their plates when Richard stopped her and told her to go and take a seat in the lounge and put on a film. Zoe protested but Richard kissed her into submission so she made her way into the lounge.


	13. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard and Zoe are trying to move on and carry on as they were before Zoe's hospitalisation. Richard is torn between his wife and work and continues to carry guilt around not being available when Zoe needs him even though Zoe is telling him she can manage without him and doesn't want him to change.

They decided that Richard should go to America and record the audiobooks but even as he made his way to the taxi to take him to the airport he was getting Zoe to promise that she would call if she needed him to come back for anything, nothing was too small. He called again before he boarded the plane and then he called at least three times a day over the next fortnight whilst he was in New York. Richard always asked how Zoe was and what she had been doing and Zoe always asked how Richard was feeling. Just before he was due to return he told Zoe he was feeling guilty because he had left her at home when she had been signed off of work for six weeks because she had to be careful what she did and couldn’t lift anything heavy. Zoe had told Richard that she had found things to do including reading the latest book series she had from one of her favourite authors that had been sat by their bed for months, but Richard still felt he should have offered more and said he would take Zoe with him to his next job abroad.

A couple of days after Richard had returned home his agent came to the house. Zoe gave them space to talk but Richard insisted she come and join them as he looked at possible projects for the future. Berlin Station was due to film season three later in the year and audible were already asking if Richard would record more audiobooks. Whilst he’d been in New York he’d filmed a further scene with Sandra Bullock for Ocean’s 8 but that was now finished. Richard had provisionally signed to be part of a film called My Zoe but there were issues with finance and filming had yet to start. Richard’s agent said that there had been a few steps forward with the production and filming could take place anytime. As Richard talked he didn’t see Zoe pick up a script and start reading. “This is different but it looks good” Zoe stated. Richard stood and made his way behind Zoe to read over her shoulder. The premise of the script read: a psychologically slow burn in which a young woman and her new step-children find themselves isolated in the family’s remote winter cabin, locked away to dredge up mysteries of her dark past.  
“I agree this sounds good, can I read through this script” Richard asked. His agent agreed but asked if he could let her know if he was interested in the next couple of days as the production was close to being ready to go. The next day Richard was in talks with the producer having said he wanted to join the cast. Zoe grinned as she listened to Richard’s end of the conversation, he sounded excited before exclaiming “next week”. He turned to look at Zoe who just grinned and nodded, if he needed to go again she’d survive. It would have been nice to spend some time together but Richard needed to work and he was struggling with the restriction on their intimacy so perhaps going away would be better for him.

Richard wanted to fly home for Zoe’s hospital appointment, but after much conversation via FaceTime Zoe persuaded Richard to stay on set so that filming could continue. Richard was enjoying himself on set, he was finding the script a challenge but thrilling and he was having a great time with his co-stars. He’d even managed some skiing which he really enjoyed. Zoe promised she would call and let Richard know how things went with the consultant. It felt strange walking back into the hospital where she worked but hadn’t been for weeks, she made her way to the outpatient clinic and was sent immediately to radiology for an ultrasound. When she was called in to see the Consultant she wished Richard was by her side, she was certain she would get bad news and her fears only increased when the Consultant didn’t smile at her when she took a seat. Zoe was grateful that he recalled that she worked in the hospital as a nurse so he showed her the images he had been sent by the radiologist as he talked. There was evidence of scar tissue on Zoe’s left fallopian tube but the Consultant was happy that it was fairly minimal and he didn’t think it would have a significant impact on Zoe’s chances of getting pregnant in the future. Zoe thanked the Consultant and then asked whether she needed to wait before trying to conceive again. She was advised to proceed cautiously perhaps using contraception for the next couple of months before trying to get pregnant, just so her body did have a chance to recover fully.  
Zoe popped into A&E to see her colleagues before heading home, she spoke to her matron about reducing her hours, Richard kept telling her she didn’t need to work but she decided she’d take small steps and asked if from the new rota that was being written, starting towards the end of May she reduced her hours to 25 per week, meaning she only needed to work 2 shifts a week rather than 3. She left the hospital and found a bench to sit on so she could call Richard, pulling her phone from her bag she saw various icons on the screen, eight missed calls from Richard, five voicemails and three text messages. Zoe bit back her smile and looked at the text messages which started with Are you OK, call me x then became, Baby let me know you are OK, I’m worried, call me x. The final text message said Baby call me, I’m worried please call me, we can work things out let me know what’s happened. I love you x. She didn’t dare listen to the voicemails, instead hitting the speed-dial button to call Richard. He answered after the first ring saying “Baby, are you OK?” Zoe knew he would be holding his breath until she spoke so she quickly told Richard she was good and the appointment had gone well. She said she’d rather speak to Richard face to face about some of her conversation with the Consultant but told him he didn’t need to worry as it had gone as well as it could. Richard kept asking of she was alright and Zoe kept saying yes. She told Richard she was hoping to go back to work next week but would be on light duties for a couple of weeks. A knock on a door interrupted their conversation and a man’s voice asked Richard if he could go back on set. Zoe told Richard to go and that they could speak later.

A week later Zoe was in the shower when her phone pinged letting her know she was receiving an incoming FaceTime call, she wrapped a towel around her body leaving her hair dripping water and answered. Richard’s face filled her screen. “Hey” she said brightly, “I wasn’t expecting you to call this early in the day”. “I missed speaking to you last night with you being back at work, how was your first day back?” Zoe told Richard it had gone well but she was frustrated that she couldn’t help her colleagues as much as she wanted to. Richard tried to reassure Zoe that her colleagues would appreciate her being back, she told him she hadn’t told them she was reducing her hours, there were still eight weeks before she cut down on her hours, although Zoe had thought that if Richard was away she could always work an extra shift on the nurse bank, there were always shifts available. Richard cleared his throat, “talking of working hours, I’m really sorry but I won’t be home for your birthday on March 11th, we are a little behind schedule” he looked sad as he said “I’m sorry”. Zoe was disappointed but didn’t want Richard to see, she smiled and told him it was OK they would just have to celebrate when he got home.


	14. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe expects to spend her birthday home alone but will she really?

Richard may not have gotten home for Zoe’s birthday but that didn’t mean he didn’t spoil her. She was eating toast and drinking her first coffee of the morning when the gate bell rang. She answered and found a florist van waiting to come in. At the door she accepted a bouquet of white roses, carnations and baby’s breath surrounding one single yellow rose. There wasn’t a card but she knew Richard had sent them. Zoe had just finished arranging her flowers in a vase when the gate bell rang again. She was surprised to find Martin Freeman waiting at the gate, she let him in. Zoe was convinced that Martin wasn’t being truthful when he said he had been in the neighbourhood and wanted to pop by to see how she was. He asked when Richard was due home and Zoe told him hopefully within the next week. Martin nodded and then asked Zoe if she wanted to come for dinner that night. Zoe declined but Martin spent five minutes persuading her she didn’t want to be at home alone tonight so she eventually agreed to go, certain that Richard was behind Martin’s visit.

Zoe treated herself to a facial and brought herself a new top that she would wear with her black jeans to Martin’s house tonight. She smiled to herself as she thought of Richard getting Martin to ask her to dinner tonight, this was definitely his doing but it was thoughtful. Both of her parents called her that afternoon. Her father asked if she and Richard could visit anytime in the next few weeks and Zoe agreed to call once Richard was home and arrange something. Her mother after wishing her a Happy Birthday actually ventured into a conversation about the lost baby which brought Zoe to the verge of tears but she knew she meant well and was asking out of concern. She was about to have a soak in the bath when Richard called, she had hoped he would FaceTime but a call was better than nothing. Zoe thanked Richard for her flowers telling him they were gorgeous. Richard’s response was that they wouldn’t be as gorgeous as her. Richard eventually asked what she had planned for the rest of the day. Zoe responded by asking if Richard had spoken to Martin recently, he said that Martin had called him last week but otherwise he hadn’t spoken to him. She said she was going to have dinner at his house and knew that this had been arranged. Richard mumbled an apology stating “he didn’t want her to be on her own, and that he might have mentioned he wouldn’t be home for her birthday today.” Zoe laughed and told Richard she loved him. He said they were close to finishing the filming and he’d call her tomorrow evening when he’d hopefully know when he would be coming home.

Zoe decided to take a cab to Martin’s house in Belsize Park. Traffic was relatively light so she arrived a few minutes before seven. Martin greeted her at the door and led her through to the longue offering Zoe a glass of wine. She accepted a glass of white and took a seat. She could hear Martin in the kitchen but was surprised that she couldn’t smell anything cooking. She had eaten here several times with Richard and they had always been greeted by wonderful smells from the kitchen. Zoe was about to head into the kitchen to see if she could help when Martin came back in and said he was just popping next door to see if he could borrow an egg as he had just dropped the last one he had on the floor. Zoe smiled at him as he claimed he was butter-fingered. A couple of minutes later there was a knock at the front door, assuming Martin had forgotten his keys when he had popped next door Zoe made her way to open it. She was going to say something about being bird-brained as well as butter-fingered as she pulled the door open but the words ceased on her lips as she found her husband standing before her, his hair still damp from a recent shower.

“Surprise” Richard declared. Zoe flung herself into his arms and Richard caught her taking her back into the house. “What are you doing here, why didn’t you call, why aren’t you filming?” Words tumbled from her lips as she stepped back from him, looking him up and down and Richard merely laughed, a deep throaty laugh. “Did you really think I would miss your birthday Mrs Armitage?” He kissed her on the lips, “but you were filming” she responded when they parted. “Yes I was, but we finished filming 2 days ago and I realised I could get home on your birthday.” He kissed her again, “but rather than build up hope that I would be home today I did arrange for Martin to invite you to dinner so that you wouldn’t be alone if I couldn’t get back and also so I knew where to find you if I did get home.” Zoe flung her arms around his neck. “I was actually back in London when I called you so I have been at Benedict’s house most of this afternoon waiting to surprise you.” Zoe kissed his chin, “I can’t believe you planned all this.” Martin came back in, he had Richard’s case in his hand and gave an apologetic look at Zoe but she just flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek whilst saying thank you.  
“As much as I would love for you both to stay and eat here, I’m sure you would both rather enjoy a meal together somewhere than the pasta I’m about to cook” Martin announced, He grinned at Zoe as she looked both thrilled and disappointed at the same time. “But we must catch up properly sometime soon” he declared. “Please come to dinner with us next week” Zoe replied, “we will let you know which night once I’ve looked at when I am working.” After a few more minutes idle chatter between them, Richard led Zoe to the door where Zoe was amazed to see a cab waiting. “Where too?” Richard asked as he put his case into the cab. “Can we just go home?” she asked. Richard smiled and gave the address to the driver.


	15. Settling into marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Richard back home the couple talk about what has happened, and initially take things slowly before Zoe decides the she is ready to start a family.

On the journey back they ordered Thai food to be delivered, after Zoe had again declined going out for dinner saying the best birthday present was having Richard home and she just wanted him to herself rather than being aware of people watching them as they ate, whispering whether that was Thorin Oakenshield or Lucas North over there. They just about managed to keep their hands off of each other whilst they ate but as soon as they had eaten they were ripping clothes from each other leaving a trail from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Zoe woke the next morning cocooned in Richard’s arm’s his bare chest plastered to her back, he was still asleep so she remained as still as she could, feeling his steady breath on her shoulder. Zoe felt deliciously sore in places she hadn’t felt sore for a long time. Their passion for each other had led to a hard and frantic coupling initially but this was followed by a session of pleasuring each other orally before they had made love slowly and gently. Richard as a result of his flight and jet lag had woken at 2am and had subsequently woken Zoe for another session of love making. As Zoe was not taking her birth control pills she had brought condoms and wondered whether she would have to go out for more later that day, they hadn’t been like this in the early stages of their relationship but Zoe wasn’t going to complain, they literally couldn’t keep their hands off each other and this had been her best birthday ever. She smiled to herself as she remained as still as possible. “What are you smiling about?” Richard rumbled into her neck. “I’m not” Zoe replied, “Liar” Richard retorted. Loosening his grip slightly Richard turned Zoe onto her back and kissed her cheek. Zoe smiled harder and shifted her position so she could kiss his lips. Her left hand lingered on his chest before trailing down over his abdomen. She moved her hand out to rest it on Richard’s right hip before sliding it over to grasp his buttock. “Mrs Armitage, you are insatiable” Richard declared his right hand now grazing over Zoe’s left breast. “Mmh huh” Zoe answered her lips pressed against Richard’s. 

Two hours later Zoe had extracted herself from Richard’s arms as he slept again, she’d needed the bathroom and as he hadn’t woken she had decided to get up and shower. Richard was still asleep after her shower so she had headed downstairs picking up their discarded clothing. Having tidied up, Zoe set about preparing a meal for that evening placing diced chicken, onions and mushrooms into the slow cooker along with a white wine sauce. She’d cook rice later that evening to serve with it. She’d just finished making an apple and raspberry crumble when Richard walked into the kitchen wearing just his robe. “You’ve been busy, you should have woken me when you got up” Richard helped himself to a mug of coffee from the cafetiere that was sat on the counter. “I thought you would prefer to sleep” Zoe answered, Richard grinned, “I am tired, the days have been long and hard going, but I’d have rather you’d have been in bed beside me, and I want to get my sleep pattern back into a normal routine asap so I need to get back into a routine.” Wrapping her arms around his neck Zoe suggested that Richard went for a run so that he had done some physical activity to help make sure he was tired later this evening. Richard waggled his eyebrows saying he had a better idea of a physical activity he could undertake. Zoe punched him lightly on the arm and told him to go for a run. “I missed you” Richard whispered into her hair, “I missed you too” Zoe responded. “No, I mean I missed you in terms of our closeness and our physical relationship” Richard’s arms tightened around Zoe, Zoe squeezed him back feeling a sense of inner peace restored within her.

Richard went out for a run and came back an hour later sweaty and feeling on a more even keel. Jet lag didn’t usually bother him but this trip back had thrown him off balance possibly because he had literally finished filming and then made his way to the airport to get a flight home to see Zoe on her birthday rather than having a good night’s sleep before flying home. Zoe suggested Richard shower and that they then sit down and talk about her consultant appointment. It hadn’t really been a topic for discussion the previous evening but they needed to talk about what they both wanted in their future together. Richard nodded knowing that they needed to have this conversation. He spent his shower thinking about how to play out the discussion. All the time he had been away he had thought long and hard about Zoe’s words that they couldn’t actually plan a baby’s conception or birth as there were so many factors to take into account. He had made enough money from projects over recent years to not need to work, but he wanted to work but he was thinking now he could always reject a project to stay at home or see if his part could be delayed if he needed to be at home with Zoe. But he had also realised that as much as he wanted to protect Zoe and wanted her to need him she was a strong woman who was independent enough to look after herself.

Zoe started the conversation reiterating the information she had been given by the Consultant at the hospital that there was evidence of scar tissue on her left fallopian tube but the he was happy that it was fairly minimal and he didn’t think it would have a significant impact on Zoe’s chances of getting pregnant in the future. Zoe also told Richard again that she had been advised to proceed cautiously using contraception for the next couple of months before trying to get pregnant, just so her body did have a chance to recover. She also shared the other part of her conversation from that day that if after a year of trying she hadn’t gotten pregnant she was to go back and have further scans and investigation. She hadn’t realised she was squeezing Richard’s hand until she felt him squeeze back reassuringly. They continued talking for almost an hour, discussing their work and ultimately what they would like to do in the future when they had a baby. Zoe admitted she would probably want to stop working then but would also like to remain on an agency or the hospital bank team so she could work an occasional shift somewhere if Richard was home. Richard obviously couldn’t say where his work would take him and potentially he would still travel for big projects but he also wanted to be at home more.

Richard remained at home for a further three weeks before he returned to America to record some more audiobooks. He had asked if he could record then in the UK but knowing he would be gone for only ten days Zoe had told him to go. He had completely spoilt her whilst he had been home, having flowers delivered every week. He’d also brought her a rose-gold necklace with a tiny heart pendant on the chain for her birthday that she wore all the time when she was at work as it did not show above her uniform. When she was at home she tended to wear the emerald heart necklace Richard had given her on their first Christmas together before he proposed. Zoe had arranged her shifts so she worked more whilst Richard was away so she could then have a few more days off when he got home. She’d arranged to go and visit her Dad for the day just after Richard came home but what she hadn’t told Richard was that she had also booked the cottage in the Ashdown Forest for four nights. She felt ready to start trying for a baby and felt a break away would be ideal time to let Richard know.


	16. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The summer is almost over and the couple celebrate their first wedding anniversary by spending time away in Scotland. Zoe is happy but she hasn't become pregnant. Richard is trying his best to keep Zoe happy especially as he can see her becoming more desperate.

The summer passed in a blur, Richard spent almost a month away filming a new project and he had felt helpless when he had spoken to Zoe when he had been away for just over a week and she had cried because she wasn’t pregnant. He’d seen the disappointment every month since she had surprised him with a few nights away in April when her period started but she’d never shed tears until he wasn’t there beside her. He did the best he could to reassure her that it was still early days. Zoe knew that but when she hadn’t been trying to get pregnant it had happened so she wanted to know why it wasn’t happening now that she did want to be pregnant. He was home for his birthday but having barely seen his parents all year he and Zoe travelled to Leicester to see them on his birthday. Whilst they were staying in Leicester Richard’s agent called to say she was sending him a script for another play due to run in London from January. He agreed to read it because if he liked it, it meant he could be at home for a longer period than he had been since their wedding.

Three weeks later Richard had agreed to join the cast of the play, he had just headed away to do some voice over work but when he came back home from that in early October he would then be home until at least the end of May. Zoe had scheduled time off of work around their wedding anniversary so Richard booked a few days away in Scotland. He had learnt recently that Zoe loved seals so he hoped they could spot some seals along the coast. He’d also booked a visit to the seal sanctuary even though it was closed to the public for the winter. Flights to Scotland were booked and all of the other travel arrangements were confirmed by e-mail. He would surprise Zoe but he’d give her a day’s notice so she could pack a bag. He wanted to see her happy and smiling as once again she wasn’t pregnant and the sparkle seemed to be leaving her eyes.

Zoe was excited to be on the plane in business class, she’d only flown twice before and both of those had been in economy class so this was the height of luxury. This was nothing compared to some of the flights Richard had taken recently, but he was happy to see Zoe excited . She also couldn’t believe that tomorrow was her first wedding anniversary. She had managed to pack part of her gift to Richard, being that a first anniversary is represented by paper she had made a little book of vouchers for him to request some of his favourite things such as a head massage, his favourite meal (that might have to wait until they were home), a choice of film to watch (even including horror which Zoe hated). Of course there were other vouchers in there that Richard might choose to use over the next few days, Zoe had offered to spend a day naked as well as things that were going to make her blush if she kept thinking about them so she chose to look out of the window. Before she knew it, they had landed in Scotland and Richard had picked up the car he had hired and they were driving through open countryside towards their hotel.  
It looked like a castle as they had made their way up the drive, inside was even more exquisite and Zoe was amazed when they were shown to the honeymoon suite with a huge four poster bed and a welcome bottle of champagne. Richard gave the porter a £5 tip for bringing up their bags and once he had left the room he locked the door and opened the champagne. After her second glass Zoe was given an envelope, she opened it to find details of the seal sanctuary visit and a boat trip along the coast as well as a meal at Tom Kitchen’s Michelin starred restaurant tomorrow evening. They did make it down to the restaurant for dinner but once they had eaten they were back in their suite with another bottle of champagne.

Zoe loved the seal sanctuary as she was even allowed to feed some of the young seals, she was now getting ready in the bathroom of their suite for a meal at Tom Kitchen’s restaurant but her mind was wandering. She’d given Richard his vouchers that morning, he’d grinned when he saw some of the things she was offering and he’d said he was cashing in at least one of his vouchers tonight. Zoe hadn’t been able to find out which one. They hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other last night, waking twice overnight and finding each other both times before falling back asleep in each other’s arms. Zoe had also said there was something else at home for Richard that she hadn’t been able to bring with her. Richard had insisted he had all he wanted was with him already as he’d kissed her deeply before they made love again. Zoe was just spritzing on some perfume when Richard appeared asking if she was ready as the taxi had arrived.  
They had been seated at a secluded table towards the back of the restaurant away from prying eyes but it had a stunning view from the window by the table, the meal was amazing, and as they were drinking coffee at the end of the meal Richard produced a box from inside his jacket and handed it to Zoe. Zoe gasped as she saw a pair of emerald heart earrings that matched the necklace Richard had given her at his parent’s house two Christmas’s ago. Beside the earrings was a bracelet that matched perfectly. Richard picked up the bracelet and placed it around Zoe’s right wrist and then kissed the inside of her wrist. “It’s gorgeous” she whispered, “and as I’ve said before, it’s not as gorgeous as you” Richard responded. He entwined his fingers with Zoe’s as he picked up his coffee cup with his other hand. Zoe smiled coyly, she still struggled with all of his compliments. At the end of the day she was an A&E nurse and she still couldn’t believe she was married to an actor who had a fan base across the world who could have had any woman he wanted. “What are you thinking?” Richard enquired. “Nothing” Zoe fibbed. As if he could read her mind he spoke again, “I love you, because you are kind, caring, considerate of other people’s thoughts and feelings and you enchanted me from the moment I first laid eyes on you” Richard declared. “I can’t believe you wanted a plain and boring nurse when you could have had any woman you wanted that evening” Zoe responded. Richard placed his coffee cup down and grinned, “but no other woman would have given me a book of vouchers to cash in as and when I please.” He raised his hand to get the attention of the waiter, “speaking of which, I think it’s time we headed back as I’m definitely cashing in on one of those vouchers tonight.”

They didn’t leave their hotel suite the following day, when they had woken it was raining and at 9am Richard received a call to say that the boat trip wouldn’t be able to go ahead as the sea was just too rough because of an incoming storm. The boatman said he would rearrange for tomorrow and would confirm by text in the morning that the trip could go ahead. They ordered room service for lunch and supper as Richard had cashed in his voucher of Zoe remaining naked, Zoe had hidden in the bathroom both times when their food was delivered to their room. If she could have stayed here forever she would have but she knew they were going to head home in just under 48 hours. The boat trip did go ahead the next day and they saw plenty of seals both in the waters around the coastline and basking on the rocks. Zoe’s grin had become wider and bigger the further into the trip they went and Richard found himself smiling too, enjoying his wife’s joy. He would plan something similar for the summer, perhaps in early June after the play finished. He loved being on stage but in some ways stage plays were more demanding and draining on him that filming a TV series or a film. At least then he would have breaks when he wasn’t needed for a few hours and he could either have a power nap or have time relaxing with a book, but stage plays were go, go, go with perhaps only a few minutes respite before he was needed on stage again. He also needed to know his lines perfectly as there was no second take if something wasn’t delivered quite right. They remained quiet throughout the boat trip just holding each other’s hand, taking in all of the wildlife around them.


	17. A Dream Come True?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple are in a comfortable routine with Richard now preparing to work in London for the next six months. Zoe is so comfortable with her job and having Richard at home she doesn't realise her dream might be about to come true

They quickly settled into a pattern over the following weeks, Zoe was only working 2 days a week, and on those days Richard got up early with her and left the house in the morning to walk her to the station. Richard would then go for a run which he also did on the day’s when Zoe wasn’t at work. He’d insisted she take a taxi home in the evening and he had booked the same driver in advance to bring her home. The taxi driver had stayed and waited for her when Zoe had left nearly an hour late due to a trauma case coming in just before she was due to finish, but he hadn’t charged for that time even though Richard had offered to pay. Zoe didn’t often work nights now she had cut down her hours, unless she picked up extra night shifts but she was allocated nights the weekend before November 5th. Richard had picked up on her nervousness before she went to work and had just held her telling her she would be safe and that nothing would happen to her. The taxi driver picked her up to go to work both nights, but she took the train back in the morning. Other than a few drunks they didn’t really get any firework or bonfire based casualties. On the Monday morning Zoe sat on the train looking forward to getting into bed and having a couple of hours sleep. When she had gotten home on Sunday morning Richard had still been in bed. She’d taken him up a cup of coffee before crawling into bed exhausted where he had enveloped her in his arms and she had drifted off to sleep. Part of her hoped that he would still be in bed this morning but she also expected him to be up and out on his run. When she got home the coffee pot was warm and there was a used mug in the sink so Zoe assumed Richard had left the house. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen counter mulling over the patients she had seen over night. She had spent a long time with a lady in her 90’s who had a chest infection, she’d told Zoe stories about the second world war and about her husband who she’d said had been a hunk. He had died almost four years ago and it was obvious she was lonely. If her son hadn’t have called in to visit her she would have still been at home unwell as she didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. Zoe deliberated about what she would be like at that age, would she be describing Richard as a hunk? Quite possibly the answer was yes.

She had a couple of mouthfuls of coffee before pouring the rest down the sink. For some reason it tasted bitter so she decided just to head to bed setting her phone alarm for 1pm as she made her way up the stairs so she didn’t sleep all day, and then struggle to sleep tonight. She entered the bedroom and noted that Richard hadn’t opened the curtains clearly thinking that she would only close them again. She kicked off her trainers and stripped off her clothes leaving them in a pile on the floor, she would sort them out when she got up. She placed her phone on the bedside table and then climbed into bed. As she snuggled into the duvet a hand clasped around her waist and pulled her backwards. Before she could scream she was lying on her back and in the dim light she saw Richard’s face loom above her just before he swooped in for a kiss. She responded, their kiss lasting until they both needed to come up for air. “Missed you” Richard muttered, “Did you have a busy night?” Zoe told him that it had been busy until midnight and then she’d spent a long time with an elderly lady waiting for a bed on a ward, listening to her stories of her life. Richard settled Zoe back onto her side, his arms wrapped around her waist, his nose pressed into her hair, her eyes were getting heavy so she asked if he was getting up. “Soon” he answered tightening his hold on her, Zoe sighed and let the tiredness take her into sleep. 

She woke to her phone alarm but couldn’t move her arm to stop the melody as she was still clamped in Richard’s arms. He released her briefly to stop the noise coming from her phone before regaining his hold. “Have you been here for the past four hours?” Zoe asked huskily. “Mostly, yes. I have had to go to the bathroom” he claimed. “Speaking of which” Zoe groaned, managing to lift Richard’s arm from her waist. When she returned from the en-suite bathroom Richard was no longer in bed. Zoe opened the curtains and picked up the pile of clothes she had dropped on the floor that morning putting them into the laundry basket. As she was pulling on a pair of leggings Richard returned with 2 mugs of coffee in his hand, he was wearing only his boxer shorts leaving Zoe in no doubt that he was aroused. She grinned cheekily at him as she took a mug from his hand and took a sip. Within seconds the grin died on her lips as the urge to vomit over whelmed her. Thrusting the mug back at Richard, Zoe darted for the bathroom dropping to her knees by the toilet. Nothing happened but she felt like she was going to be sick, mentally she thought back over the people she had encountered at work over the past 2 nights wondering where this had come from. She couldn’t recall any vomiting other than the drunks. A warm hand on her back told her Richard had joined her. “OK” he asked cautiously. “Yeah, I just don’t know where this has come from” Zoe answered. Richard’s hand was soothing on her back as she still thought and thought about who she had worked with. Had the elderly lady also had a vomiting bug as well as a chest infection? The lightbulb then pinged in Zoe’s head, today was November 4th and she hadn’t had a period since before they had gone away to Scotland in early October, in fact her last period had been at the end of September. Could she be pregnant? She turned to face Richard, his hand splayed across her back. “Can you go out to the chemist?” Zoe requested. “Of course, what do you want me to get?” Richard responded. “A pregnancy test” Zoe smiled. Richard beamed “I’ll get dressed now.”

Richard wanted to run home but he took his time letting the idea mull over in his brain, was he going to be a father? He was going to be at home for the next six months no matter what, so if Zoe was pregnant he just wouldn’t take on any more work until the end of next year so he could be around and be available to her. The closer he got to home the scarier the thought of becoming a dad became. He was worried if they would lose this baby too and what another loss would do to Zoe. He had brought a double pack of pregnancy tests just in case something went wrong the first time and they needed to do it again. Although the idea was daunting, Richard was also excited at the prospect. He would be trying to persuade Zoe to give up work altogether if she was pregnant even though he knew she would struggle with being home all of the time.


	18. The Moment of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the start of a new chapter for Richard and Zoe and who is more apprehensive about the pregnancy test result?

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Zoe looked at Richard, “I’m going to pee in a pot and put this little stick into the pee, so no I don’t think I need you to come in with me.” Zoe started to walk towards the bathroom but then stopped and turned to face Richard. “Wait for me on the bed, I’ll bring the stick out when I’m done and we can wait the 3 minutes together.” She’d realised that this was probably as important to Richard as it was to her, she’d checked and checked her diary whilst he had been out the house getting the test and her last period had been just over 5 weeks ago. She had been known to be a few days late at times usually when she worked nights but it had never been this late. Zoe read the instructions again just making sure she had this right. She had lost count of the number of pregnancy tests she had performed at work, but this was the first one she had ever taken herself. 

Richard waited patiently on the bed as Zoe had suggested, she was taking longer than he had expected, had she seen the result, was she crying because it was negative? He was about to get off of the bed and go to the bathroom when the door opened and Zoe came out holding the stick. She sat on the bed and placed the stick on a wad of toilet tissue she had brought out with her in front of them. She then shuffled back to rest against the headboard and looked up at the ceiling, Richard took her hand a kissed her knuckles. “Whatever the result we will be fine” he declared. Zoe looked at him and tried to smile. “Well if it’s positive, I have the perfect name for our baby” Richard declared. Zoe looked at Richard with a stunned expression, she had been thinking of names all over the summer and couldn’t believe that Richard had a suggestion. “What is it?” Zoe asked. Richard rubbed his thumb over Zoe’s knuckles. “Well” Richard started, “If we follow in the footsteps of David and Victoria Beckham, and given this baby may well have been conceived when we were in Scotland then the perfect name would have to be” his eyes sparkled, as he paused Zoe held her breath “paper or voucher”. They both burst out laughing “that’s better” Richard stated, “I don’t like seeing that worry on your face.” He kissed her gently on the lips then tilted her head so her eyes were gazing into his. “Honestly, whatever this stick tells us we will be fine. We will either start preparing for a new addition to the family or we will just have to try harder to get pregnant.” Tears leaked from Zoe’s eyes, “I don’t deserve you” she claimed, “No I don’t deserve you” Richard countered and pulled Zoe onto his lap.

“You look, I can’t” Zoe requested, “A line in both boxes means it’s positive” she added. “Are you sure?” Richard questioned and Zoe nodded. Unwrapping his arms from around Zoe, Richard reached for the stick. He looked at it and put it back down and pulled Zoe back into his arms, holding her tightly. “I’m sorry baby” he crooned into her ear, Zoe bit back her tears, “It’s OK” she swallowed, "it was a nice dream for 20 minutes.” Richard kissed her hairline, “Baby” he kissed her again and grasped her chin so her eyes were level with his again, “I’m sorry, it looks like I’ve gotten you pregnant.” Zoe’s arms were around Richard’s neck in an instant, “Really?” she squealed. “Yes really” he laughed back and then placed his hand onto her still flat abdomen, “there is someone in there.”  
The next hour was spent trying to decide what they should do next. Richard was the one who went into a blind panic around what if something was wrong, he was all set to whisk Zoe off to a private clinic to have scans. Zoe calmed Richard down and persuaded him that all she needed to do was book a GP appointment. She reassured Richard that she didn’t have any pain and that she would tell him as soon as she felt even the slightest twinge. This could be a long pregnancy if Richard was going to be so protective although Zoe quite liked the idea of him worrying. Zoe made an appointment for 3 days’ time on Thursday morning, she knew that basically she’d have to do another pregnancy test and have some bloods taken and once the GP confirmed she was pregnant she would be referred to the midwifery team at the hospital. She wouldn’t bring up that subject now but she wanted to be referred to the team at Guys & St Thomas’s although she was certain Richard would suggest private care. She knew many of the team at Guys & St Thomas’s, they were colleagues and as a member of staff at that hospital she would get A star treatment. She started to make a quiche for dinner and put a couple of potatoes into the oven to bake. She was putting the quiche into the oven when Richard came into the kitchen holding his tablet, “our baby is only a quarter of an inch big” he declared and it’s mainly a bump for its heart and a bump where it’s brain will develop.” Zoe grinned at him and took the tablet to look at what Richard had been looking at. “You are happy aren’t you” she enquired whilst looking at the picture of a blob on the screen. “Ecstatic” he answered “why do you ask?” Zoe took a seat on a stool, “because I was the one who wanted us to have a baby, I wasn’t sure if you were just going along with me or whether it is what you really want” she shrugged. Richard pulled her from the stool and embraced her in a tight hug. “I want you to be happy and I know having a baby is what you want so I want that too. I also know my family will be over the moon as I had to stop my mother from pestering you when we visited in August about trying again.” Zoe pushed a strand of hair off of Richard’s face. “You didn’t need to do that” she responded. “I know, but whatever we answered she would be on our case constantly, either asking if we’d been successful if we told her we were trying or telling us to get on with trying if we told her we were waiting.” Zoe giggled, “she’d have had us up in the bedroom if we’d said we were trying” Richard grinned. Looking away Zoe asked “Can we keep this as our secret for now?” Richard gently brought her face back in line with his. “Of course, I want this to be our secret for as long as possible.”


	19. It's Confirmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe's pregnancy is confirmed and she comes to a decision about work

Zoe went to work on Wednesday, Richard walked her to the station as usual and told her to let him know if she was worried about anything. He was meeting with the producer and director of the new play later so said he’d hang around and meet her at the end of her shift to go home together. It was a quiet day in the unit for a change but Zoe was asked to help with a sick 4 month old in the afternoon. He was struggling to breath and his parents were beside themselves with worry. Zoe put herself into the mother’s shoes and thought that she would be just as worried. She might be a nurse but this tiny person couldn’t say what was wrong and was clearly unwell. The paediatrician who came to see the baby was fantastic, she managed to get a blood sample from a tiny vein on the baby’s left hand and listened to his chest. She told the parents she wanted to keep the baby on the children’s unit as she thought he had a virus called RSV Bronchiolitis which gave adults a cold but made tiny baby’s unwell with breathing problems. She spoke about putting a tube into his nose to feed him so that he didn’t have to try to feed and make himself tired when he was working so hard to breathe. The mother cried but said she understood what she was being told. The father embraced his wife as she cried and offered reassurance, just as Richard had done to her two days ago. The paediatrician also spoke about ways they could help with the baby’s breathing if things got worse, but she hoped that by giving him a break from having to feed he wouldn’t need any support with his breathing but the next 48 hours would be a challenge. One of the nurse’s from the children’s ward came and put the tube into the little boy’s nose and once she was happy it was in his stomach she gave him 60mls of milk. This helped to settle the baby who then fell asleep in his mother’s arms making both parents anxiety level lessen.

Zoe looked up RSV Bronchiolitis and discovered it was quite common. She wondered how apprehensive she would be as a mother. She knew other nurses who had thought they could look after their sick child at home, not actually realising how sick they were until it was almost too late. In fact one of her colleagues had thought her eight year old daughter was making up her tummy ache only to bring her to the hospital three days later and finding she had appendicitis. She didn’t want to be neurotic but she also didn’t want to miss anything. She rested her hand on her belly and then headed off to have a break.

Richard went to the GP on Thursday morning with Zoe, he wore a beanie hat to try to not draw attention to himself. Although Zoe was registered as Mrs Zoe Armitage the surgery had agreed to her maiden name being used on the system that notified patients when it was their turn to go into the doctor’s office. Zoe’s name popped up and the pair headed into the room with barely anyone taking any notice of them. The doctor greeted Richard after Zoe and indicated for both to take a seat. As she had expected Zoe was sent off to provide a urine sample and once again a pregnancy test strip was dipped in along with another test strip before the pot was closed and placed into a sample bag. The GP smiled at the couple as he confirmed the test was positive and that there were no other concerns with regards to urine infections or diabetes. As the test was positive the doctor requested Zoe have some bloods taken and said the nurse would do that once he was finished. He then asked Zoe is she was experiencing any symptoms and Zoe confirmed she had some nausea both in the morning and late at night but nothing else. The GP explained some other symptoms Zoe might experience over the coming weeks including tiredness, mood changes and sore breasts. As he spoke Zoe gripped Richard’s hand preparing herself for what would come. She didn’t need to wait long as the GP then started to speak about which hospital Zoe wanted to be referred to. Zoe squeezed Richard’s hand and spoke quickly saying Guys & St Thomas’s as that was where she worked. As the GP typed on his keyboard, Zoe looked at Richard and pleaded with her eyes to not make a fuss.   
Richard had been about to correct Zoe and request private healthcare for her when he saw the look she gave him and he instantly backed down. He might be able to afford private care for her but she was an NHS nurse and she clearly wanted to stick with what she knew. Who was he to deny her, they had saved her life only ten months ago, he’d also heard the stories of times she had saved people’s lives. He had used the NHS services himself in the past. Further down the line he might be able to persuade her to have a scan at one of the private hospitals, they could even have one of those 3D scan but if Zoe didn’t want that he’d understand as well. He squeezed her hand back letting her know he understood.  
The following week Zoe, had to phone in sick for work, the nausea was awful although she didn’t actually vomit but she also had an intense headache. Richard had wanted her to see the doctor but Zoe had looked up eight weeks pregnant on the internet and found that headaches were not unusual due to the increase in blood flow in her body. Richard made Zoe rest bringing her food and drinks at regular intervals. She was surprised at how much she slept but the internet had also confirmed what the GP had said about feeling tired. When Zoe was feeling slightly better two days later she found Richard in the lounge learning lines. He immediately stopped reading his script and asked what he could get her. Zoe just patted the sofa beside her and Richard came to sit with her. She had been thinking long and hard over the past couple of days. “Would we really be OK if I didn’t work” Zoe asked. She knew the answer but she wanted reassurance before she decided to hand in her notice. “Baby” Richard pulled her onto his lap “of course we will be OK if you don’t work, in fact I would be a lot happier as I wouldn’t be worrying about you when you are at work.” Zoe smiled, “I know I’ll be fine, but I’ve been thinking that I really don’t want to put our baby at risk and perhaps A&E isn’t the best place for me to be, you know with the drunks and all those infection risks that sometimes we don’t know about until the wards get test results back days later.” Zoe looked at Richard, “but I don’t want you to spend all your money because I’m not earning any.” She glanced down as she spoke those final words. 

“I don’t think you could spend all of my money, but even if you did, I’d make sure I earnt more” Richard responded. “Actually if we’re talking about money, there was something else I wanted to discuss.” He saw apprehension pass across Zoe’s face at his words so he kissed her lightly on the lips. “You don’t have to say yes or no this minute, take some time to think, but as much as I love this house and we have room for the baby, I don’t think it’s the area that I want my children growing up.” Richard kissed her nose, “I want to find somewhere with a garden where we can build a treehouse and a swing, where there is open space for our children to play.” “Child” Zoe corrected, “Children” Richard countered, “I hope we will have another child at some point as I know I really appreciated having my brother to play with when I was growing up.” Zoe cupped Richard’s jaw, “you really wouldn’t mind if I didn’t work?” Richard kissed Zoe deeply, “baby, how many times do I need to tell you, I just want you to be happy and if not working makes you happy then I’m happy.” “I will stay on the bank, I might work an occasional shift” she answered, “I don’t want to waste my education and we might need some extra money if we’re going to move house.” Richard smirked in response pleased that Zoe was considering moving house. “I also owe you a honeymoon but that really might have to wait now.” Zoe swooped in for a kiss, “I don’t need a honeymoon anywhere hot or fancy, we had some time together after our wedding in a place that is special to us and we had a fantastic time in Scotland for our anniversary. That was all I needed just being with you.”


	20. Breaking News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe and Richard start to share their news and make plans for the future as Zoe works her last shift.

Zoe’s 12 week scan was booked for December 21st. Zoe had told her Matron she was pregnant when she handed in her resignation at the beginning of December, her manager had said she would keep the secret but would also do all she could to protect Zoe over the following weeks until the news broke. Richard and Zoe agreed that the scan came at a perfect time, they had refused offers to spend time with both of their families over Christmas but had instead arranged for their parents to visit them in London on December 29th. They had brought Christmas cards for Grandparents and were going to include a photo of the scan in the card. Richard held Zoe’s hand throughout the scan as they both stared at the image in front of them on the screen. Tears leaked from Zoe’s eyes as the baby’s heartbeat filled the room and the sonographer reported that everything was perfect. She looked round to find that Richard’s eyes were also suspiciously wet. The sonographer managed to get a good picture of the baby to print for them and then asked if they wanted her to see if she could tell the sex of the baby. Zoe looked to Richard, shaking her head, “I don’t really, but if you do I’m happy to find out because you’ve given in to me so much recently.” Richard cleared his throat and then announced that he too wanted it to be a surprise even though that meant they had to make sure everything they brought was a neutral colour. Zoe smiled and said “it probably does need to be neutral anyway if you get your way and we’re heading down this road again somewhere in our future.” That made the sonographer laugh.

Zoe had changed three times before Richard returned from the station with his parents, the first two outfits definitely showed off the bump that had appeared as if by magic over the past week. Her mother had arrived just before Richard returned and her father was 10 minutes after Richard and his parents. Everyone was sitting around the table having just finished their dessert when Richard picked up the three envelopes that had been stood beside the television and brought them back to the table. Zoe joined him and the couple stood as Richard said they had a further present for them. He handed an envelope to his mother, Zoe’s mother and Zoe’s father and asked them to open them together. It took a minute for the penny to drop as his parents looked at a card with a snowman on the front saying To My Grandparents, Zoe’s father looked at a card saying Happy Christmas Granddad with Santa Claus on the front and Zoe’s mother looked at a card saying Christmas Wishes Nan with Santa’s sleigh loaded with presents on the front. Zoe’s father was the first to react standing up and saying “you’re not are you?” Zoe just nodded and her father came forward hugging her tightly. Richard’s parents had opened their card as Zoe’s father spoke and his mother squealed as she saw the scan picture and was then making her way around the table to hug Richard. His father patted him on the back before pulling Zoe from her father and hugging her. Zoe’s mother looked shocked but then joined in the celebrations and the rest of the afternoon was spent discussing how Zoe was feeling and whether Richard was looking after her.

Zoe felt exhausted by the time her parents left their house, Richard’s parents were staying overnight before heading home in the morning but had excused themselves upstairs. She was loading the dishwasher with plates when Richard came up behind her and stopped her in her tracks. “Go and sit down” he ordered, “I’ll finish this.” Zoe made her way to the lounge taking a seat on the sofa as she turned on the TV, she could hear the clinking of the glasses as the dishwasher was loaded. The evening news was on the TV but it was just background noise as she closed her eyes for a few seconds. Zoe’s eyes flew open and she let out a gasp as she felt the sensation of flying, “ssshhh” Richard whispered into her ear her hands instinctively tightening around his neck. “Put me down, I’m too heavy to carry” Zoe stated as she realised that Richard was making his way upstairs. “You are not too heavy. I tried waking you but you weren’t opening those gorgeous eyes so my only option was picking you up, so stop talking and enjoy the ride.” Now she was in Richard’s arms Zoe was suddenly wide awake, she pressed her nose into Richard’s neck inhaling deeply, he smelt amazing as always. “Zoe” Richard growled as he pushed their bedroom door open before lowering her feet to the floor whilst keeping his arms around her middle. “Richard” Zoe hummed back and then standing on tiptoes pressed her lips to his. Over the past month Zoe had been tired in the evenings, Richard had also been out a lot more recently, spending time with the cast of the play rehearsing and often getting home after Zoe had fallen asleep. Generally they had gone to bed and cuddled rather than do anything more physical although Zoe had often woken Richard in the morning with her mouth around him and he had then reciprocated and given her pleasure too. Pulling his lips away Richard murmured “My parents are down the hall.” “I know” Zoe pressed her lips back to Richard’s, “and we’ve told them today what we’ve been up to” she waggled her eyebrows. “I think I have a craving and I’m sure you don’t want to deny me that craving do you” she lifted her top up and over her head as she spoke. Richard couldn’t deny her anything so he picked her up and dropped her onto the bed with a squeak.

Zoe couldn’t believe she had worked her final shift as a permanent member of staff in the A&E team at St Thomas’s. Word had quickly spread after the New Year of her pregnancy and her colleagues all went out of their way to make sure she only had to deal with minor injuries, although by chance Zoe found a patient collapsed on the toilet floor on her final day and had started CPR until the team arrived. She had booked in a couple of shifts on the bank over the next few weeks especially now that Richard’s new play was underway. She had gone along to watch on the opening night and marvelled at how the man on stage in front of her was so different from her husband. She would go another couple of times just so she could watch her husband at work, she really hoped she could go to the final show too, just so she could see how much the character had changed over the 14 weeks. Tonight she was going out to have a meal with several of her old colleagues as a farewell. They were going to an Italian restaurant that wasn’t too far from the hospital. Richard had said he would come down to meet Zoe when he finished so they could get a taxi home together.   
Just after 11pm Zoe recognised the taxi as it drew up outside the window, she was going to miss her conversations with Will who had literally become her personal chauffeur over the past few months. Zoe’s friend Alice looked at Zoe wistfully as she stood to leave and commented that she wished she had what Zoe had. Everyone hugged Zoe and told her to visit and keep in touch. They had given her a gift of a charm bracelet that included a nurse charm and a plaster charm as well as a pram and a heart. Zoe’s matron cleared her throat and stated that there was another gift but she had been unable to bring it with her but she would drop it to Zoe in the next couple of days and then hugged her and told her to enjoy the next few months. Zoe fought back her tears until she was in the taxi with Richard, he knew her so well that he just held her and remained silent as she cried most of the way home. Although in her heart Zoe knew this was the right thing to do part of her was still struggling with relying on Richard’s money. They had booked some appointments to view houses over the next few weeks. Richard had even persuaded Zoe to view a house in Sussex as he could still get a train into town when he needed to. Secretly she had loved what she had seen on the estate agents webpage but didn’t want to add more pressure onto Richard by moving so far away from his agent and the hub of his work.


End file.
